My childhood

As you can imagine a start like that is not something I am proud of. Since my father has had nothing (almost)to do with me I am estranged from that side of the family and growing up I was acutely aware of my mother's family hatred of my father for things he had done to my mother. He had not only physically, sexually and verbally abused her but had drunk up the rent money more than once, cheated on her, cut the vinyl top on her car and refused to contribute to the family income.In short he was trash and I was his son, so what did that make me? So as you can see I really didn't have anyone in my extended family. I certainly didn't have my father and even though he was so mean to my mother she loved him and blamed me for them not being together so she determined to make me pay for her disappointment. I guess she thought if she couldn't be happy then I shouldn't. Her abuse of me extreme and odd to say the least. While she didn't beat me black and blue I have had teeth knocked out of my head, hair pulled, cussed told she wished I would die and once she showed me her hemmoroids and told me I had caused them. So I was very aware of the fact that I was unloved during my childhood.