Why?

Teresa looks like Reba, we both love her and for some reason she always has a song that exactly describes our relationship!

Till you love me

This song still stands true after all these years.

Chonda Pierce Christian Comediane

I'll be true to you

I love the line in this song that says I've been true to you seems like speaking to me is the least that you could do. Amen that is all I have to say.

My Version

I told you So

Just saying!

It was recently suggested that it had been 8 years since my separation and that I should just get over it. Now let me assure everyone I am over it. You say how do you know you over someone? I agree with Madea (Diary of a Mad Black woman)if you get a chance to hurt someone and you don't then you are over them. But if you love someone really love them I don't believe love can be broken not true love. You may very well decide that it is best to not share your life with that person, but if you love them that never goes away. Especially a christian a christian has to love EVERYONE otherwise they are not a christian. No one is worth your immortal soul

I will always love my ex wife. Why? Because I loved her from the beginning. She can cetainly make me angry, but no matter what I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER. If you had ever loved someone there is no way you could hate them now. Hatred is proof also that the heart isn't right.

Miracle Baby!

What we all need to hear!

Explanation and Apology

I know I haven't been posting much on the story guys, but I just have a feeling my ex wife is up to something. She is on here quite a bit and for long periods of time. She is also being friendly when we do speak and that always means trouble.

This is a Miracle!

This little girl who is 10 years old was on America's Got Talent last night and just blew me away!! Her GIFT is a miracle of God! Here is a sample of the miracle of ten year old Jackie Evancho!

Another Miracle!!

If you are a faithful reader of the blogs you know they were born out of a miracle of God healing me of a depression I had faced since my separation. Now that is true and it is still evident in me today, however a couple of years ago I went back to court to try and get Natalie to be able to live here. I truly believed that God was working and for a while it seemed as though it was going to happen. Months before this Natalie and I was driving to Liberty, Ky. and out of the blue and for no apparent reason I felt God spoke to me and said "your daughter is coming home soon." I had to pull over and I just bawled. So I really believed it was finally going to happen. So when it didn't I became extremely angry with God although I would never come right out and say it. So when my Pastor did something I didn't agree with I left the church even though it was growing quickly and people were being saved and I was the Worship Leader. I kind of did it I guess to get back at God. I was so depressed I gained 20 pounds to reach my highest weight ever of 320 and I could no longer function at my job, and I had a very very good job selling Life Insurance. had I stayed I would be making 75 to 100 thousand dollars a year right now and in another 10 years probably 200 to 250 thousand a year. It was a dream job as I even made out my own schedule and it was an excellent Christian environment and they were really good to me there. But after I lost Natalie again I just couldn't go on. Now this added to the depression I already had by leaps and bounds and that was what the Lord healed me of in December of last year. I was still however extremely upset or mad at God and have been ever since then. I have stayed out of church and began to be selfish and self centered as well as somewhat vain. Saturday though much like in December just out of the blue God healed me of that pain as well. I saw something in a movie that touched me I can't remember what it was but I began to cry and cry and just repeatedly (which was unnecessary) ask for forgiveness. God did just that! He restored my soul and spirit, my zeal, my fervor and my love for him and I am so thankful!! God knows best and he will withhold no good thing from me or Natalie!

Bad Dad explanation

Natalie has been fascinated by cell phones since she was 3 and I know this. Since she was 7 she has been asking for cell phone. Now while she was here for the summer she let me know that several of her friends had them including this one little nasty girl who thinks she is queen bee of the school. So I promised Natalie she would have a cell phone by the time school started. Now to get a phone that had unlimited minutes and text and web I made it contingent on her mother agreeing that I could talk to her everyday. (Right now I can only call on Tuesdays and Friday per court order) Now that was obviously for selfish reasons on my part. Well of course Teresa refused and so not only did I just give Natalie a phone for emergencies she can barrely use but then I go out and et me a cool new phone so as to rub it in he face. Needless to say I have seen how awful I have been and will give natalie te new phone when she comes back home. Love is never selfish and that is exactly what I was being. I have asked Natty to forgive me and she has now if I can only forgive myself.

From that to this!

Remember this?

Big Personal change coming!!

On August 16th I am going back to school to finish my teaching degree. I am extremely nervous! Please pray for me!!!

I have been a bad dad!

I recently handled a situation with Natalie all wrong!! I have to make this right!! I will too as soon as I can speak to her again on Friday!! I will explain everything then.

Don't forget

Don't forget about the blogs on parenting, weight loss, religion, comedy and music. You can access them through the profile link.'

Also Everyone should be aware that due to Google Analytics I can see who has been on the site and for how long and what pages they viewed and how long they were on each individual page so I know when something is up!

Something's up

I taked with Teresa Friday afternoon for a couple of minutes to give her my new phone numbers and she was nice!! I have known her long enough to know when she's pleasant she is up to something! Probably getting ready to take me to court over the blogs!!

Oh Brother!!!

Yesterday Natalie had a Doctor's visit with her regular doctor because of a wart she had on her foot I learned two interesting things first of all she hadn't seen her primary Doctor in 3 years!!! If the shot questions come up you can be sure that will be mentioned!!! If her problems hasn't took her to the doctor in three years how on earth could they be that serious as to require 3 shots a week!! But anyway that isn't the most important thing, no not at all Teresa has of course been bad mouthing me to Natalie something she does quite frequently even though we are not supposed to do that!! Nat just listens and goes on she knows bull when she hears it but can't say anything for fear she will get in trouble. (poor kid in that environment) Anyway Teresa told Nat that I was running her down to the dogs in this blog. Now while I do not deny that this blog will tell my side of things and how I think Teresa is wrong on some things. My intentions are not to run her down in any way only to express the struggles, aggravation and trouble I have experienced in my life with the focus being on the marriage and divorce. It is a way for me to simply get things off my chest. Things I need to especially since Teresa is unwilling to talk to me. Most of the blog to this point hasn't even been about Teresa, but about my childhood and my relationship with my parents and until recently what had been about her had been about how much I loved her (and always will real love does not go away she is after all the mother of my child and even though she makes me upset I will always love her and if she ever needs anything if I have it she has it). Now two more points nothing I have said or will say will be false in anyway and if Teresa doesn't leave Natty alone and quit fussing at her over something she has no control over anyway then I will tell some things I left out for ol' Teresa's sakes like the Lake Cumberland Resort deal with the rented car and what took place at her parent's home when they were away!!!

Trouble in Paradise!!!

It wasn't but just a few hours into the marriage when I knew in my heart she had no real respect for me when she would completely disregard any requests I made!! Let me tell you people something that are yet to be married the lines are drawn within the first 72 hours of marriage of how things are to play out in the marriage. For example whose going to be the one to make the compromises in situations is exactly the sort of thing I am talking about. Now I know what I am getting ready to say is about something small, but most often it is the small wounds that hurt the most as they are a sign of a much larger problem! Now Teresa worked at the electric company and no joke she saw it as her duty to use as much as electric as possible to support her company. Which would be fine if she worked for a store or something, but you can't boost the electric companies profits single handed!!! But she tried believe me she tried!!! Now, I was extremely nervous and desperately wanted to be a good provider. I had no idea what our expenses would really run as I had always lived at home, and to say I was scared would be an understatement of major proportions. You must also understand I had thought myself invincible financially and then had just recently went through a bankruptcy which was why I was as concerned as I was. So I would ask Teresa several times to please turn off the light if she was leaving the room and was going to be out of there for a while. She would just give me a smile and then completely ignore me!!!! Now I know this doesn't sound like much but to me it was!! I never said a word about it which in hindsight I should have I guess, but I didn't want to start a fight, instead I just let it fester and got more and more upset and hurt over it. Another thing that really hurt my feelings right off the bat was how Teresa would tell me not to touch her computer like I was so stupid I would destroy it by my DNA!!! I admit I was ignorant at the time of computers, but the way she said don't touch it made me feel like she loved it more than she loved me!! By far though the biggest mistake we made right off the bat was.........

Natty and Daddy like you have never seen us before!!

Something I want to share!

O.K. let's fast forward the story here to 2004. I am going to share a little information with you that I wanted to wait till it actually occurs in the story, but for the sake of this story which I am hoping Teresa will read I have decided to share it now. While the divorce was going on I worked at Oakwood which is a large (then state run) facility for people with Mental Retardation). One day some co-workers had to take someone to the local emeergency room. While there they came across Teresa's mother. Due to them having a resident with them she asked if they were from Oakwood. When they said yes she asked if they knew me, when they again said yes she told these people who were complete stranges to her that I had left her daughter because she was ill. Well a few days later it was Superbowl Sunday and I had prepared a big party for the people in the home I worked in and invited other homes as well. The party had been going for about an hour and I was on my third round of getting refills on pop, pizza, and snacks when one of the other staff motioned me over and said something to me that made me almost pass out!! He said with a smirky attitude " You look like someone who would leave someone because they're sick!" I know I made a face at first then said huh? He said "I have been watching you for an hour now waiting on these people hand and foot youhaven't asked for help, or had a bite yourself and you are doing this for strangers, you look like you would leave your wife cause you didn't want to take care of her." Then a quick smile broke out over his face and he said that' what your mother in law told me at the hospital the other day. Of course then I understood. He then said I didn't know much about you then so I kept quiet he said but if I ever see her again I'll be sure to tell her SHE'S A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The cat is out of the bag!!

Well, it had to happen!! While Natalie was here for the summer she got on my Facebook page (Add me as a friend, Steven Dowell). Anyway Natalie was very upset because Teresa had not called her but at that time once (she called her twice in 5 weeks!) So Natalie sent her a message on Facebook. Well Teresa came back to my Facebook page and saw the links for the blogs. Saturday Nat had to go to after hours because she has a wart on her foot. So Natty told me about this and said she is mad. Well GOOD! Maybe she will learn some things she should know. Teresa if you read this do yourself and Nat a favor read the entire thing. Then you will know that I loved you, I will always love you (even when I can't stand you). And that you are making some huge mistakes in your life. The more you try to keep Natty and me apart the more you will bring us closer together.

I also just want to say this being hateful towards me is useless! It is also extremely petty and immature. And ignoring me altogether when we are in front of Nat also extremely juvenile!! You should also know that telling Natalie I am a sinner because I wear shorts is crazy, Uh hello hatred and bitterness and unforgiveness these are all things that WILL keep you out of Heaven. Also quit lying to the kid and telling her I just left you. No one that knows me believes that and Natty knows me!!

Major Tom

I just love this!!

We finally won one!!!

Now first of all let me say I know that this is not a competition between Teresa and me, but in everything I have ever tried to do for Natalie it has been a disaster, and that is why yesterday was such an important day!!! Teresa has always tried to keep me in the dark about Natalie's medical needs. She purposefully schedules appointments at times when she knows I have to work. If they are not scheduled then often times she will reschedule them at the last minute so I end up missing them. Now this isn't the case every time but it is more often than not. Anyway several years ago Natalie was diagnosed with Asthma even though she has never had anything ever that even remotely resembled an asthma attack. Anyway on Natalie's last visit they recommended her taking allergy shots for the next several years starting out at the rate of three a week!! This even though the child's lungs are much stronger than before and she no longer has a runny nose problem. I was strongly against this!! So that made Teresa strongly for it of course. Since the appointment to decide this was during my work I called and tried to reschedule it. At first they said the only other available time was going to be a month later and during school hours which Teresa would never agree to. So I went down there and told them I would not give consent for Natalie to have the shots and showed them I had joint custody. They basically told me it didn't matter if the mom was for it they would proceed. So I told them I would sue them if I could and I would be talking to an attorney!! Big bluff by the way I can't afford an attorney and every time I have went to court I have lost with or without an attorney anyway. So I did the only thing I could do after that I prayed which I always do but even that just never seems to work out. But this time God heard my prayer and spared my daughter's feelings. Teresa called me on Wednesday night at work and told me the appointment had been changed to Thursday at 10:40. I thought how odd!!! So when we get there Teresa is even there she usually never comes and Natalie is brought by Teresa's mother. I was looking for a terrible fight but it never came. When we went into the Doctor's office and she came in. Natalie very plainly told the doctor that she wasn't having any problems. Teresa was still contesting saying she needed them, of course I supported Natalie saying I had just had every day for five weeks straight but three and had seen no problems, then when the doctor seemed confused I said well me too if Natalie is having problems at her grandparent's house it maybe because they are building a new addition and letting Natalie actually help with the construction and you all diagnosed her with allergies to dust.. Ooh Teresa got mad, but she shut up.When it was all over I hugged Nat and whispered in her ear we did it!!!!

As Promised The Honeymoon Begins!!!

O.K. now picture it, we just got married at the courthouse in a forbidden by our parents service. Teresa is so full of remorse she looks like she might barf at any moment. My head is literally spinning with feelings of joy, worry, fear, happiness, wonder and truthfully a little hurt. Now what should two kids in love who were just married run off and do? You already guessed it we went to the bank!!! Yes that's right the bank!! After all attaching Teresa's name to my account is the most important thing we could do right then at that moment right!!! This was a very good sign of things to come by the way! Once that was all over I bet you'll never guess what we did next. Well I'll tell you did you ever notice that picture of us on the home page? Well that is what we did next we went and had our picture made!! I know hot right? Not!!!! Finally after all that we made our way back to our little love nest where we had our reception. There was a total of three people present other than ourselves. The only people with enough guts to show up from church was Ken Hamilton and his family. They never had gotten along with Teresa's family and truth be told it may have been they showed up only to spite them. It really doesn't matter what the reason I was just glad they were there so some one could film it. We had a cake and punch and a fight!! Yes a fight that's right. Why you ask? Well because I am a very old fashioned guy and I followed the tradition of stuffing cake in the brides face! For which I was screamed at in front of everyone (all three people). I saw Fonda give Ken a look at that moment I have never forgotten. The look said "he is in for a hard life". If she could have only known what the years would bring I think instead of just a look she would have come right out and said it! So after about an hour of all that fun (laugh right out loud) the hamilton family left. Now I am a gentleman and I am sure that my daughter will read this thing after I die, so let mejust say this it wasn't but a couple of hours after I knew Teresa had no respect for me when she.........

Big changes!!

As I said yesterday there is going to be some big changes in the blogs. As many of you know there are a total of 6 blogs right now with two blogs having already been eliminated. I have thought long and hard on this and have reached a decision. Due to those blogs falling way short on hits in comparison to my life story blog. I am goin to eliminate them as well and from now on any posts that I would do on those subjects will now be posted on the a fathers fight site. Now because of this I will be posting much more often than what I had been hopefully daily posts will be made in fact. I do not want to let this information be overlooked, and Natalie has two doctor appts today and one of them Teresa and I have fought over like cats and dogs so I am so so sorry but that is all for today, but I promise unless smething drastic happens tomorrow will be a new post about the honeymoon so stay tuned!!!!

What a Day!

Well we shot well over 10,000!! In anticiaption of me coming back we had almost 100 hits yesterday..... from all over the world!!! Places like Milan Italy for crying out loud. Back home we had cities like Washington D.C. and Orlando Florida!! Thank you to everyone who clicked in!

Update

We are only 34 hits away from hitting a total of 10000 hits!!

I'll Live Again

A new friend and faithful from reader from Louisville Kentucky sent me this in an email and I love it so much I decided to share it here! Thank you so much Bette!

I am back!!!

Hello EVERYONE,

I just can't thank all of you all enough for continuing to click in, way to go Buncombe County North Carolina!!! And to all the rest of you too! I have some big plans in store that will mean some big changes, but I need to get all of my facts straight on my next post involving the story and need to decide which way to go with things. I will decide based upo how many clicks I receive today, so be sure to check in tomorrow, because all will be revealed then!

Update

Natalie is coming back home today fom her mothers. I will not have any more posts till July 21st. Please don't forget about me!

Happy 4rth of July!

I just wanted to wish you all a Happy 4rth!

Thanks to a Special Reader

I have noticed that I have been getting regular hits for some time now from West Chester Ohio and Louisville Kentucky and I just wanted to say a special Thank you. I have also been getting quite a few hits from Ferguson, Kentucky. I think that might be someone who knows me since it's so close to home, but I sure do appreciate it and thank you all. My analytics tell me if a hit is from a new reader or not if you are wondering how I know these things.

The Wedding Day Part Two

Teresa wasn't coming out of her apartment! Had she changed her mind?!? After she threw stuff at me last night and I still agreed to marry her was SHE going to dump ME now!! I started breathing heavily and thought you know this might all be for the best. Anytime I get in a bad spot I go back to Romans 8:28 in the Bible. I truly believe that all things even hard things benefit us in some way. It is how I keep my sanity, but anyway I was about to either blow the horn or turn around and go home I hadn't decided when Teresa came rushing out. She was as white as a ghost. The car ride was a sign of things to come silent and awkward! We of course both wanted a church wedding more than anything but because of Teresa's parents being so against us we didn't dare try and have one. We decided we would go to the courthouse and be married by the County Judge. Actually Teresa decided this which was another sign of things to come. The only family I had there was my cousin Kathy who worked at the time downtown close to the courthouse and a lady she worked with named Carol. That was it just the two needed witnesses.Afterward Kathy took a picture of Teresa that haunts me to this day even though I have no wedding pictures I can not erase it from my mind. It is a picture of Teresa sitting on a bench with a look on her face of sheer well the best way to describe it is terror, agony and disgust all wrapped up in one. That picture will always symbolize for me the turmoil she was facing for marrying a man she didn't love. Let me explain this to you. Teresa and I belonged to the Church of God of Prophecy. The little one room church where I was saved was of that denomination and so was the church where I met Teresa and she had grown up in that church. They were a very strict pentecostal church with two big hang ups or No No's or whatever you want to call it. 1. No Jewelry (Teresa's mother cried when her son had a ring for his wedding she thought they would go to Hell for it) (no joke!) and 2 even more serious was No Divorce this was the cardinal sin!! The blasphemy sin I call it. To give you an idea of the seriousness of it once when I was attending Tateville and we had no Pastor the lady that was seeing over things went to visit her son in Arizona and as the only other tithe payer at the time she put me in charge of the church I was given strict orders I could allow anyone anyone at all in the pulpit except someone who was divorced!! That's right a murderer could be forgiven and fit to preach, a rapist, even a child molester but not someone divorced!! Stupid? I agree they have since changed their teachings, but that's not the point I only told you this to let you know how strongly Teresa believed divorce was wrong.So you see, seeing that picture just confirms what I have suspected all along Teresa by marrying me was doing something that she believed could and probably would affect her entire eternity. When I think back on it our wedding day was so stupid! Would you believe the first thing we did was..........

Could this be the week?

Exactly 6 months and two weeks ago I started this blog. After about two or three weeks I learned how to get a site counter and since then I have added a total of7 other blogs, and discontinued two of those. I have counters on all of them and this week they should reach a total of 10,000 hits!! I am amazed and humbled by this. I have had readers from all over the world! Most every state in America have had people to click in. More than 20 foreign countries with regular readers from Moscow and Frankfurt (Germany). I want to thank everyone who clicks on this.It is such an encouragement to me to see people take an interest in me and my story.

Me Singing!!

Here is a video I put on youtube I wanted to share and since so many people hit this site over my music one I thought I would post it here. My music site has all kind so of great songs by the original artists there is everything from Gospel to country to Rock and Roll. Just click on the link on the right that says The Music of my Heart Music.

The Wedding Day!!! Part 1

O.K. folks here it is finally I can't believe it is taken me 6 months to get to the wedding day or that I would be posting it on Teresa's Birthday!

After the big fight I had told Teresa that I did in fact still wanted to get married but the truth was I didn't but when she asked me anything with that heart broke look (which I now know was an act) I couldn't refuse her anything. You have to understand at this time I thought she was an angel impossible of deception or manipulation. So I told her I did still want to get married but inside I was scared to death that I was marrying someone just like my mother who would fight all the time and I just could not and would not go through that anymore. Truth was she was just like my mom in many ways but she wasn't nearly as violent or dangerous.The only thing that kept weighing on my mind too was that stupid house the one I posted the video of earlier (check the archives it's worth a look) I didn't want to stick her with the house which was just in her name, so between that and the look I agreed.

The morning of the wedding was unforgettable my mother screamed and hollered cussed and tried to literally grab me from going out the door. But at the time I thought she was just not wanting to lose my financial support that she didn't care about me. And just as I am writing this it is occurring to me for the first time in my life that I may have been wrong about that. She always knew Teresa didn't care about me. I think she recognized it so easily because she didn't really either. She always blamed me for my father leaving because he was notorious for making babies and then leaving not wanting to support them. As I walked out the back door she grabbed my arm and I shook loose of her hold finally in my life. All I could think of was this is it Now I am free. In the words of the great Martin Luther King Junior Free at Last Free at Last Thank God almighty I am Free at Last!!! I kept telling myself on the drive to Teresa's that this was going to be a new life for me. That things were going to be different now.I was finally going to have a life!! But as I pulled up to Teresa's apartment all that seemed to come to an end because Teresa wasnt........

Fresh Posts!

Natalie is with Teresa today celebrating her 41st birthday. I will be updating all blogs and there will be many new posts so make sure to see it all! Natalie will be spending all next weekend (4rth of July) with her mother so there will be new posts then too. There are also new videos on youtube at youtube.com/user/nattysdaddy1. These videos are of Natalie acting goofy at a Cincinnati Reds Game. I think they are pretty funny I hope you do too. Thank you all so much for clicking in while I have had Natty! I see I have had over 350 clicks during that time and I appreciate it!

Important Announcement

I want to let everyone know that tomorrow at 4 Natalie comes home for the summmer. She will be here for 5 weeks except on the 26th which is Teresa's birthday and then the weekend of July 2nd. I will not be on the computer at all those 5 weeks except for those days. I will make several new posts then with lots of new pictures and videos. Don't leave now the sotry is just getting good when the wedding takes place it all gets real interesting. You won't believe some of the stuff that happened, some wonderful and some tragic just like all our lives right? Thank you for understanding but our time is so limited I want to spend every moment with her I can. Parents take this as a lesson. Your children need you more than you need the internet.

We did it!

5000 hits!! Thank you all so much for clicking in!!!

Notice

There are 4 new post today so don't miss anything!

The pre-wedding night!!

After Teresa closed on the house I guess the stress and the guilt began to take hold of her. She became even more moody and frazzled than usual. I say guilt because I know that she didn't love me and I believe that was eating at her. She would bite my head off in a flash and she constantly had a look on her face of disgust and it was like she was seeing something filthy that made her sick to her stomach. I excused it at the time as nerves, but I knew better deep down. I knew that as sacred as marriage was to Teresa that to marry someone she didn't love and just as bad in her eyes that her parents couldn't stand was the hardest thing she had ever done. I wanted to relieve her of that pain and just call it all off, not because I didn't want to marry her but because I wanted her to be happy and I knew I could probably never do that for her, although I would try with all I had.
Things were getting worse as the time was drawing near, we had set a date for August the 5Th, although I can't remember now why we chose it. We were determined to be prepared so we went furniture shopping and bought the furniture before hand, we got a window air conditioner unit and we went to the flea market and got some beautiful gold framed pictures that were all hand made. Everything was done in gold burgundy and emerald green. It was beautiful if you can believe that from the video I posted earlier.It looked like for the first time in my life that my dream of a beautiful and peaceful life might come true even if it was based on a lie. We wanted everything to be ready for the big day, so the night before we worked our butts off putting clothes up hanging pictures getting groceries so that we could just come home and start living which is where we wanted to spend our honeymoon. So after a few hours of work I start getting silly which was a big mistake! I would come up behind Teresa and tickle her which would make her so mad, she would take my head off finally I got it through my head to leave her alone, but after about an hour since my last attempt I forgot and I scared her by going in the room and going BOO!! She totally flipped out and began throwing everything she could get her hands on at me. Had she hit me with some of that stuff she may have killed me!! She even got up and followed me as I ran away trying to take cover it was like she was possessed!! After I got to the kitchen she stopped and started crying. I stood at the sink and could barely believe what just happened. I was literally gasping in air and in shock I suppose. I wanted and felt like I should walk out the door, what was I doing marrying a person who obviously not only doesn't love me but can be violent. I mean Teresa had smacked me a few times but only once before had I ever took it serious, the one time I took it serious I guessed I had deserved it we did this thing where we would race to the car from a store and one time she took off before 3 so I yelled stop thief ad she took that sack and whopped me a good one let me tell you. That should have been a sign right there. But as I stood at the sink I began to hear Teresa crying which immediately softened my heart. I turned from the sink and immediately I thought just walk out the door and don't look back! And just as quick I thought you can't do that she has already bought the house you are already stuck! It never occurred to me that I could pay the payment on it till she sold it, or the fact her payment was cheaper than her rent had been anyway I just didn't want to saddle her with a house that she didn't love right off the bat anyway.
The knowledge though that I was marrying a woman that was violent scared me to death, she was so like my mother it was startling and scary to say the least!! I had so wanted to escape that kind of life and thought that at least with the marriage I would be fleeing that sort of troublesome life. That I could live a respectable stable peaceful life was what I wanted so bad would I never find that. Was I destined to live like a trashy redneck lowlife all of my days, was there no escape of that for me? I walked into the living room to see Teresa on her knees crying my heart melted of course but I tried my best not to show it. I said is this what it would be like if were married? Teresa asked "do you even still want to"? I replied.....

Chris is coming home!!

Chris arrives home from Afghanistan today!!!!

New Milestone!!!

In a few days this site should receive it's 5000 click. I started this on December 19last year and I am tickled that within 6 months we have received that amount of clicks the total for all the blogs is nearly 9000 including two that I no longer do. The blog has been viewed all over the world and in most of the United States and I am truly humbled when I see returning clicks from the same far away cities, thank you all so much!

A-lot going on!

O.K. from time to time I like to update you all on new changes in my life and right now there is some very significant and exciting changes going on. The biggest and best change in my life though unfortunately I can not go into details on, but if you are an avid reader of the blog and have read from the beginning which I highly recommend, then you know that I have only loved one other woman in my life and I want you to know that through the blogs I have gotten to contact her, and it has meant the world to me. She unlike Teresa truly cared for me and other than my daughter is the only person in the world I have ever felt that from, so getting to speak with her has been a huge blessing for me. (You can check out the archives to find out more).

The next big change in my life is that I am returning to school this fall to get my teaching degree. I have one more semester to get my associates degree and then will start my teaching program in January. I hope to have my degree by Christmas 2012. PLEASE pray for my being able to pass Algebra! I have already got my classes filled out and my financial aid work done I still have to take the ACT which I plan to do in September. I have a dream of being a teacher and a writer , will my dream come true? What I do every day will depend on it and the same goes for you. Get started on your dream today!

My other big change is I am starting back on my weight loss journey and I finally had a week of loss. I lost two pounds to be back at 286, last year I started out at 320 and ended up at 282. I ended up getting sick in the last few weeks weeks of the year (and it was through that illness that the blogs was born) and by the time I was well in February I had gained back up to 296 I worked hard and by April had got down to 281, but again I hit a wall and couldn't gt past 280 so I quit and gave up and in just two months my blood pressure has skyrocketed and I feel horrible so I know the exercise helps me tremendously and when I am going regular I love it because I feel amazing, so I ask you again to pray for my continued drive to keep going.

In addition to writing the blogs I am working on two books, and it is going slow because with working 65 to 75 hours a week and everything else I don't have much time, but I am abut 1/3 done with one and have almost ten percent done on the other one which is Unfair Justice remember that one? One of my classes is Creative Writing so maybe I will learn something.

Now I am also excited the most over this one in the summer Nataie comes home for 5 weeks!! It begins this tuesday and I can't wait!!! I just don't know how I am going to get it all done but with God's help I know I WILL make it. God bless you all and again thank you for clicking in.

Crazy Day Again!

It has been a very crazy day again this friday and so I will make all new postings either late late tonight or tomorrow and as always thank you for clicking in!

We're getting close...

I was so disappointed when Teresa came to see the house and basically took one look at it and said "no way". Somehow I was shocked at her although I should have known. Now keep in my mind at this time everything was new and freshly painted white. Yes the house was small, but it was in excellent shape and the price was wonderful, just cming from bankruptcy I certainly didn't want us to have to struggle right off the bat. I couldn't believe Teresa could not see the value in the little house I mean was she blind? What I didn't know then was that appearances were extremely important to Teresa and the little house didn't send the right appearance to other's about our finances.She wanted us to look rich to impress people, mostly her parents, but also people from work and at church. However good sense finally prevailed because she called me like two days later and said let's look at it again. We went back down there after work and Teresa looked at it one more time and this time it was like she saw it with her eyes instead of her mothers. She saw the potential it had to make a great first home and it did really fit us and our style. It was old fashioned looking but bright and clean (once). I took Natalie to see it yesterday since the door is wide open and we said this house if it was fixed would be so Avonlea that is in reference to our favorite tv show Road to Avonlea which is a spin off of Anne of Green Gables. Teresa agreed finally and we I should she bought the little house. Now I was stuck there was no turning back now in my mind I couldn't leave her holding the bag for this house even after she......

New Posting

Hello Friends! What a week we have had people from over 20 states click in this week! Thank you so much. Today is crazy for me so I probably won't get new posings up till maybe even monday, but you won't be disaapointed because we are almost to the marriage and trust me that s when all the drama starts. I will post as soon as possible and I apologize for the delay, but I have to have adequate time because it's going to be a good one!

Our little Doll House Today

What a shame the house came to the same awful end as the marriage did.

Pictures of our home

I will soon be uploading pictures of our first home, it once was so beautiful and now it is in shambles. It has been repossessed no doubt and it is in terrible shape. The door is open and I went in the other day and left in tears.

New Book

I have started writing a new book, I am still writing on Unfair Justice, but I have started writing one on Avonlea (my favorite show of all time) It is going very well and I am on Chapter 4. I have about 13 percent done based on how many words in a typical book. I just wanted to share this with you all as I have contacted Kevin Sullivan the man who produced and directed Avonlea, now I doubt very seriously I will hear back from him especially since in all interviews he is expressly said he is through with the series, but maybe there is one chance in a million. I just got to get to work and get it finished.

A Special Hello

From Time to Time I get readers from other countries but I have noticed that I have a regular reader in Moscow,Russia and I just wanted to say Hello personally and thank you for clicking in!

To all of you from New York City, all the way out to Los Angelas I appreciate all of you so much!

The Miracle and the Curse

As I pulled out of the parking lot all flustered and crying thinking that God had decided that all my dreams were being ripped out from under me, and after just going through the heartbreak of a bankruptcy at 22 this was more than I could bare. I was approxiamtely 3 miles from my hoe with my mother. I will never forget driving the same stretch of road that I had wrecked on which had led me to Teresa in the first place. My eyes were so red and teary eyed I nearly missed the For Sale sign on the little house not one half mile from home. I had been looking far and wide in hopes of getting as far away from home as possible.Still the second I saw it I knew it was the house for us. It had been a store and a post office about 100 years ago, but it was completely new and totally redone. It was a very small 2 bedroom house, but it was so nice, and it had all the appliances even a washer and dryer which was perfect for us since we had nothing. It had a wrap around covered porch that I loved and to me it was perfect. The man (a preacher) that had remodeled the house lived next door and when he saw me on the porch admiring the flower beds he came out and let me in. The house was only 26500 and it was I thought it was perfect. He grilld me hard about who we were and what kind of neighbors we would be which let me know it would be a good area. I got back in the car and Thanked God for sending us this house, but why did it have to be so close to my mother. Now to see what Teresa thinks about it. I was so disappointed when........

Who Am I

Tonight my friends God is doing something in me I can't explain, but if you check this and the other blogs you will see some of the videos and internet postings he has used tonight to bless me. As I sit here at my keyboard at now almost 2:30 in te morning I am wet from all the tears I have cried as it has felt like God has poured a bucket of love, forgiveness, peace, joy and mercy ovr my head! If you don't know the Lord as your personal savior just ask him onto your heart and he will come in and then you will feel this way too!

I am Sheltered in the Arms of God

I want you to know it's no accident you clicked in to this site. Today it was God reaching out to you. All you have to do to be saved is ask God in your heart, say you are sorry for your sins and that Jesus is the son of God and you believe he died for your sins but he arose three days later victorious over death, hell and the grave and with that you have changed your eternity!

The EnGAGement

O.K. I know it's a old joke that the word gag is in engagement, but in this case it is exactly right. The next few months were horrible for both Teresa and me. Now that it was official both our mothers were really well themselves. Both thought that if they protested, nagged, bossed and demanded enough that we would fold and finally give in. Now of course I can't speak for Teresa but for me that just added fuel to the fire. I know that this is stupid, but it was just like my first new car story, anytime that woman told me not to do something, or that I couldn't do something it just made me that much more determined to do it. So for me this was really nothing new just maybe a little more intense. Now for Teresa a person who had never defied her mother this was a big deal a very big deal. Still I have to say through it all she stood her ground and I know that it was probably one of the hardest thins she had ever done in her life.
Now both Teresa and I wanted to find a house to buy before we got married and because I had filed recently for bankruptcy it would have to be at east initially in her name only, which I did not like that idea obviously but there was no way around it and I justified it to myself by saying the bankruptcy was in a way her fault because I had followed her advice. At least that is the way I justified it to myself. But I had said deep in my heart that if it truly was God's intention for us to be married we would be able to find a home we could afford that was nice and one Teresa would approve of, which was going to be like a miracle on a 44,000 budget, but if we were meant to be together it would all work out. So having a background in real estate I went on a search. Let me tell you I searched our entire county over for weeks on weeks and nothing even close to what Teresa would approve of or I would want even remotely showed itself. I never will forget being in total and utter despair thinking that this woman of my dreams was not in God's plan for my life because he had not provided a home for us. I pulled into a parking lot on my way home and I began to call out to God and remind him of his word. I felt some relief as I pulled out, I couldn't believe what happened next!

How it ended

The Heat is on!

O.K. now I had done it! I had went and proposed and Teresa had gone and accepted and it was like now the gloves were off. Neither her parents or my mother wanted us to marry and it was clear now to both of them that this was going to happen if they did not intervene. Both had different approaches, Teresa's parents who had basically disowned her came back into her life buying her this and buying her that. They have always known they could buy her affection or devotion or obedience or whatever. But the money of course would come with strings attached and for the only time in my life I saw Teresa purposefully mislead her parents and take their money with no intention of going through with their demands. I say parents but really it was just her mother's doing, but her father goes along with whatever she says so he is responsible to. I keep thinking one day he will man up and tell her what's what but it hasn't happened yet and it's been more than 15 years.
Now my mother of course would never use bribery or being nice oh no! My mother as always thought she could cuss and fuss her point view into my head. Yo know for years I told my mother I don't want to hear any fussing I won't listen to it. All for naught. I can honestly say I have never met anyone like my mother. She has been dead now for more than 5 years and I can't mourn her. In so many ways it was a relief when she passed now don't misunderstand I didn't wish her dead and I certainly didn't wish the agony on her that he faced with Cancer, but bear in my mind I have no good memories in all of the almost 32 years we shared except for one when I was 15 when she told me she was proud of me. I can't remember now what all she said those few months of engagement we had. I have most likely blocked it out as I have tried so hard to do with so much of my experiences with her, but I do remember vivdly that those months of engagement were pure Hell living with her, it's funny now and I hate to admit of course and wouldn't dare if she were still alive, but in the end in so may ways despite her rough gloom and doom talk...... She was right!

Happy Mother's Day!

I just want to wish all of you special ladies out there a very special Mother's Day including the lady that gave me the most special gift of my life. Teresa may you have the grandest Mother's Day ever.

Youtube channel

I have a hilarious new Youtube channel, that can be viewed by going to youtube.com and searching under nattysdaddy1. Give it a try!

The Proposal

So the next significant thing that happened between Teresa and myself would have to be the Proposal. I had finally reached a level of success at Clayton's in fact I was one of their top ten men. I was making more money in fact then than I do now. Teresa had moved out into that tiny apartment so I thought she was ready to go on to the next step. I began to plan how I could do it in a manner worthy of her and impressive enough to her so that she would say yes when it hit me. There was a new Limousine company in our town, so of course, I had to do it in style! I dressed up to the nines in my big long wool coat, suit and tie the whole nine yards. I was burning up, not to mention so nervous I might vomit any second and ruin everything (literally). So I showed up to Teresa's job at the local electric company just in time to whisk her away! All the women were all a buzz when they saw the big white limo pull up. I had spent so much on that thing I never even thought to have flowers or anything else for her (besides she may so no so no sense in spending it all) We went for a lovely drive, but I had no clue as to where to go, I mean here I was to ask the lady I loved to marry me, but I had no idea where we were going. We ended up driving to the local state park Burnside Island and there amongst the beautiful scenery I got down on one knee in the car, took her hand and asked her to be my wife. And I swear I meant for it to be for forever. I closed my eyes, my stomach in knots and waited for the worst, not half believing it when she said yes! As we pulled out of the park I had the driver stop at the Restaurant I had owned at 19 with my uncle who had since bought the building and employed all my aunts. I stopped off to show off both my bride and my ride! I was like a wild man screaming over and over "she said yes!" As we went up the highway and passed the Somerset Clayton Homes I saw a friend of mine Mike Caudill out on the lot and I literally hung out of the car screaming I am getting married, I honestly don't think I paid any attention to Teresa after she consented. I was in such shock that I was in my own little world. It was as if I had won the lottery! We arrived back at Teresa' job and I wantd some sugar, but Teresa would not consent there in the parking lot for people to see, that should've been a clue, but no not o me I was in lala land!

The next installment

I have thought long and hard about what I would need to include next. There is a story I could tell here that would be quite significant in revealing the true character of Teresa, but I feel it may be unwise to include it here for legal reasons. Lord knows Teresa has no problem with dragging me into court and this may well be a matter she would do that over, so for now we will forgo it, however I promise if I get a book deal and the publisher's o.k. it I will put it in because I KNOW it would make for good reading.....cause it's juicy!

Update

I have Natalie this weekend and she hates me on the computer, so I caught her asleep and snuck on here. Since Sunday is Mother's Day she will be leaving Sunday morning so I will update all blogs then. Thank you as always for clicking in!

Natalie

Natalie won her Science Fair Yesterday! I just had to share it!

Wedding Day Photo

Were my glasses really this big? This was us on August the 5th 1996. We are almost to that point in the story only a couple or maybe three more posts till we get to the wedding and the story really takes off I can't believe it has taken me over 4months and 120 posts just to get to this point!

Update

We are coming up on 7,500 total hits! Thank you guys and gals so much and keep clicking in!

What an Awesome Thought

It really is an awesome thought to me that over 4000 times this site has been clicked on, by people all over the world. I am humbled to think that my words are touching people. I also think it would be so amazing if some publisher, or producer saw the stories from the poll and wanted to pursue them.Just last week I got two emails frm New York City so maybe it could happen those kind of people live in places like that. So just keep clicking in and I 'll keep telling it. Just think all I really have to do is find the right words.

My Famous Fried Chicken Story!

O.K. folks, here it is my famous fried chicken story, not long after Teresa moved out she wanted to fix Dinner for me one Friday night, an idea that both shocked and amazed me for several reasons. One that she cared that much, two that she had even thought of it as a nice gesture and three that it was cooking Teresa had never cooked anything in her life to that point. Oh wait before I get to deep in the story I should point out that by the end of our marriage Teresa had turned into a wonderful cook (that is when you could get her to). Anyways I arrived at the apartment and was told not to lift a finger just kindly wait in the living room and she would take care of everything. This attitude was so unlike Teresa and so refreshing that I would've walked across hot coals if she had asked me. She had aid earlier that she would have it ready when I got there at 7 so I figured I wouldn't have to wait long, but after 45 minutes and several are you o.k. in theres finally Teresa said ever so sheepishly "can you come here a minute?" I got up knowing there was trouble but I was ready for anything. I went in the kitchen and up to the stove cautiously. Teresa raised the lid off the skillet and said "what's wrong with this"? I looked and couldn't believe what I saw........

Oh how I wish I could do a cliffhanger here!

Teresa had put a whole chicken right out of the package in the skillet. She didn't cut it up, she didn't bread it,she hadn't thawed it why she hadn't even put any grease in the skillet. I couldn't believe it, but I knew I had to tread lightly here one wrong word and that hot skillet would undoubtedly find itself upside my head. So I just said oh that's ok I didn't really want fried chicken anyway let me take you out like you deserve for a nice steak dinner. She never knew but it meant so much to me she had at least made the effort. I didn't care what the outcome was I had worked in restaurants enough to know how to cook anyway. This is one of the very few times Teresa has ever shown any sign that she cared. So while it is amusing it is also very precious to me,but my Lord you should've seen that poor bird!

There were only two other gestures that really stood out to me and one of those was she just let me buy a Lincoln I really wanted (which she later used as a reason for our divorce she said I traded cars too often) The other was she dedicated this song to me. I tell you it is really extremely appropriate and it has meant more to me than anything else Teresa ever did except of course give me Natalie.

Memories of Felicity and Gus

Here are highlights of their relationship.

Felicity and Gus

The woman fussing at Gus is Felicity's Aunt Hetty she got Gus to go to school and has always believed in him. Gus neverhad anyone to help him till her, Felicity is a lot like her. I can't tell you everything here you just got to watch it. There are Seven Seasons.

Felicity and Gus

Gus was a poor lad with no family, no education and no hope for the future, Felicity was a high faluting, intellingent serious young lady who would've dreamed they would fall in love, but they did. As they grew up their love grew. Gus has hid himself because he feels since his accident Felicity would be throwing her life away on him. Felicity is determined to find him and marry him as she has always dreamed. My daughter and I love this show and I started to post it on my parenting blog but morepeople see this one and I want to share this with as many as possible.

Felicity and Gus a Beautiful Love Story

I have been thinking a lot lately on how sweet and beautiful love can and should be and I am realizing now for the first time in my life that I once held such a love something I knew but time and sadness had stolen it from me and even tried to convince me it did not exist. In these next few clips from my favorite show Road to Avonlea you will witness a beautiful love story of a love that began in childhood an blossomed. Gus and Felicity epitomize that sweet young love that can and does last a lifetime, I believe if you don't marry that first love you will always feel as though you settled. Gus is thought to be dead lost at sea in a shipwreck, but Felicity goes on a search for him knowing in her heart he's alive.

Welcome Jalaine5

I just wanted to take this oppurtunity to welcome Jalaine5 to our family at My Life so Far!

And the Winner is?

Unfair Justice! Thank you to every one who voted!

Help Me out here

I have a tie on the poll please somebody vote and break the tie. Read the post called the poll to read a brief summary of the stories.

Join me on Facebook

o.k. I am starting to get into facebook, and I just wanted to invite all my readers to join me on facebook.

1996 What a year!

Well, here it was 1996 and after Teresa and I talked she seemed somewhat relieved that I had decided to stay in the relationship. Her being that way gave me some glimmer of hope that she might really care for me in her own way. Little did I know at the time that the truth was that at that time she just wanted out of her parents home so bad and she was so afraid of being an old maid I think she would've married just about anybody.Things went fairly well for us for the first few months of that year, there were no big catastrophes until that spring. I am still not sure what all really happened all I do know is that Teresa moved out of her parents home. She said it wAs they would no longer allow her to see me (she was 26 at the time). I got the feeling though there was more to it than that, but Teresa surE wasn't going to tell me she was a very private person with everyone except her mother. Teresa had nothing basically at first, but they did bring her some furniture after I said I would get her some. She had to refinance her car and everything, I was in shock at the time because I so wanted to believe she had done this for us so we could be together how stupid was I ?

Our Song Now

Of course since we are apart we no lnger have a song, but another Reba song says a lot about where we are now. It's entitled every other weekend. Here it is for you to enjoy. I love te way Reba uses the kids from her tv show in the video. I am like a kid in a toy store with this new technology!

My Song to Teresa

Now that I have figured this out I wanted to share with you all the song I wrote about earlier.It is the song I felt was so true for Teresa's and mine relationship back then and maybe even more so now.Even the way it starts out with the words I sent you Roses that was exactly the way it began for us. Here's Reba McEntire's "Till You Love Me"

It's Here!!

Well guys and gals it's finally here my new music site that I have been promising you and I know you will love it. I plan to have great Southern Gospel, Classic Country and maybe even a little 80's Pop thrown in there too. If I don't mess it up to bad I will sing a song or two. I sincerely appreciate you all clicking in!

Please Vote!

Please vote in the poll! There is a post that gives a brief summary of each story. I really do appreciate your input.

New Years 1996!

Well, I was headed back for Somerset,Kentucky just as fast as I could go. Here I was in one of the largest cities in the country for the first time in my life something I had always dreamed of doing, and I didn't see nothing but a pay phone! But I didn't even care I knew something, something I didn't know before. I knew that Teresa probably didn't love me and that I loved her anyway. All that I was already aware of but my revelation was this. I didn't care. Now don't get me wrong it still hurt me, but what I mean is I had found I would be willing to live with it and live with it I did and still do. Part of me believed I could make her love me in time and part of me knew that was never going to happen. I just knew that I hadn't felt this way about anyone except Jalaine in my life and by dragging my heals I had lost her and I didn't want to lose Teresa to. I just couldn't go through that again. I had decided to live with that knowledge and accept it. I headed back to Marchetta's to wring the New Year in with them since Teresa had said we would talk on Monday and I knew better than to disturb her family on a holiday. I made it back before midnight and we had a wonderful time of fun and fellowship me, Lisa and Marchetta and her two sons. But amidst all the laughter there was some sadness on my part as it was beginning to sink in that with my acceptance of Teresa's feelings that I would never have a happy home like I was in right now.

The Poll

At the right of your screen I have listed some story ideas that I am working on. I just can't seem to decide on where I should begin, so I thought I would leave it in your good hands. Here is a brief description of each story.Please help me in this task.
1.Leaving Memories- a story about a mothers and daughters last conversation before the daughter dies from a lifelong illness. Drama

2.It could happen here- Set in Rural Kentucky terrorists invade and carry off members of a crazy redneck family. Drama/Comedy

3.Two faced- a story about a man with two faces literally who keeps contradicting himself. Comedy

4.Fair Play- a story about a man who is drugged and made to think he is going to his girlfriends mother's funeral in New Orleans, but ends up in Cincinnati to be murdered for his money, but realizes what is going on and tries to turn the tables.
Suspense/Thriller

5.Just the Two of us- A man and his conscience battle it out over right and wrong.

6.Agent Orange- An agent hides out in a hospital trying to catch a spy who is also pretending to be a patient. Only the nurse knows the truth about the agent and keeps getting after him about leaving his room when he's got test ordered to make him look like a real patient. The other patients and guests keep seeing him do all kinds of stunts and they are real confused by it all. Comedy/Action

7.Unfair Justice- Due to a sick wife a man gives up his bright future to take care of mentally retarded individuals in a deal he makes with God for her healing (Deal is one sided of course God doesn't make deals). After several years he has become one of the greatest caregivers for them, he even raises the bar of care for them, but in one split second because of being overworked he makes a mistake with the medicine and even though the patient is fine the man is put in jail.
Drama

8.It is a Wonderful Life. A story about a man with a lot of promise who made decisions that made him unprosperous and as he grows older he feels a failure till one day in a tornado an angel appears to him and shows him the decisions he made saved his daughters life. Sort of like a sequel to the Christmas movie, but with all new Characters. Drama

I would greatly appreciate your input and you can send me any suggestions/comments at nattysdaddy@newwavecomm.net

The Big City New Years Eve 1995

So by a miracle of God the old car started up and I had escaped an almost certain doom. I almost turned around and went home which would be so typical of me since I have always let fear rule my life, but I determined this time would be different. So in faith, I turned that old car toward Chicago and I persevered on. I couldn't explain it, but in my spirit I just knew that by the time I reached the city I would soehow just know what to do. Now I had always dreamed of going to Chicago and seeing all the skyscrapers especially Sears Tower, which at that time was the tallest building in the world! I remember getting nervous as the roads widened and the subway appeared (which at the time I didn't realize that was the subway). There was a terrible fog that morning and I really didn't even get to see the tops of the buildings, but I knew it was by far the largest city I had ever been in and despite my fascination of it all I barely looked it's way.I drove to the north side of town and stopped at a Shell station. I called my mother to tell her where I was and immediately she began yelling and cussing so I just hung up on her. Then I called Marchetta and told her I would be there to bring in New Years with her and Lisa and got back in the old Caddy. I knew I had made the right decision and God even confirmed it. In front of me at the gas station was a couple from another Kentucky town very close to mine. In fact it was Bowling Green which our Parkway went straight to and Chris and I had traveled on very recently on one of our wild trips. to me this was God confirming to me I was on the right road. Now if this old bucket of bolts will just get me home. I could see what Teresa thought about my plans.

100th post!

I can't believe my 100th post is just to tell you I am too tired to post now and since it's my weekend with Nat I will post on Monday. Wow what a way to celebrate this milestone huh?

The journey continues

I was only a few miles outside of Indianapolis when the old Caddy went kerplunk! Here it was the middle of winter and the middle of night and I am in a strange place in an old car and I am about to be stranded. (The only person that would've come and got me would have been Chris, but this was before cell phones and he was away at College). Teresa even would not have come after me she would've said I had gotten what I deserved and no one in my family would've come either. By the grace of God I just happened to be at an exit with a motel. I will never forget this as long as I LIVE! It was a Dollar Inn I had been seeing them along I-65 since midway into Indiana, they look cheap and disgusting, but if I was going to have a big repair bill to pay I NEEDED cheap and disgusting besides there was no way to get anywhere else. When the clerk came out to wait on me she was in that awful Goth clothes and I had never even seen that before. She had black make-up on and black fingernail polish and a bunch of tattoos and piercings and I just knew I would be murdered there, but I felt like the Lord had led me there with the car dieing just as it made it to the parking lot. So I got my key and went to my room which was awful!It is by far the worst room I have ever stayed in, in my entire life. I thought I would catch a disease from the sheets! I prayed for several hours before I fell asleep for guidance and wisdom in my situation, but mostly I prayed for my car to start in the morning.By the grace of God it did just that! God had healed my car I know of no other solution! Now onto Chicago, but would I even make it?

The Big Decision

So here I am in this most foul mood, heading out in the dead of winter, in my old Caddy with almost 200,000 miles on it. I was upset, worried, frustrated and oblivious to how stupid this really was. I mean I didn't even have a clue as to where I was headed or if my old car would even get me back home. I had no idea if I would run into a snow storm or ice. I just knew I had to have some quiet time without anyone, especially my mother screaming about what they thought about all of this. I headed out toward Louisville and by the time I got there my mind was a blank. I honestly hadn't had a single thought (just some tears) in nearly 150 miles! I said to my self that I would go on to Indianapolis, yes that's it and surely by that time I will know what I want/need to do. The stretch of Interstate between Louisville and Indianapolis was a little more productive at least, I had some thoughts. I could only really concentrate on how mad she could make me. The only other person who could make me so angry was my mother. I think it's because they were supposed to love me and I knew or at least felt they didn't. I also knew though that if I didn't really and truly love them both then I wouldn't have cared enough in the first place to get so angry. I was not about however, to live my adult life the way I had lived my childhood (just look in the archives at those posts!). Still I loved Teresa and maybe I would never find love again? What am I going to do? JUST KEEP DRIVING!?!

Where did the love go?....Chicago?

Things definitely changed after that, Teresa knew that I was desperate to have her in my life, and that gave her a good amount of control and she too full advantage of that. It was like I was one of those Jewish husbands you see on TV that always says "yes dear" in that nasally whiny voice. Well, as you can imagine that gets old pretty quick. I soon came to resent Teresa for treating me like her little servant boy. Her superior attitude was really starting to annoy me, even if in my heart I did believe she was superior. Even her demand for me to open car doors for her was done in such a snotty way that I began to resent that, even though honestly, I had loved doing that for her before when I thought it was appreciated. All these things came to build up over the next few months, till finally I was ready to explode. So right after Christmas time in 1995 we broke up. Marchetta really gave me some good counsel and so did our new friend Lisa who had been a Jehovah's Witness and had recently started coming to our church. Chris had been away at College so these two had filled in for him and even though they were 40 year old women they were my best friends at the time.(I haven't seen Marchetta 5 times in the last ten years, but I actually saw her yesterday!)These friendships did nothing, but anger Teresa who honestly had no friends at least none she was close with. Teresa didn't seem really to like other people. I honestly see her as some what of a snob, her and my mother were so much alike! I loved people always have,and I wanted friends in my life and I KNEW a life with Teresa would basically mean us only... oh and of course her family. So here we were broke up and it was the day before New Years Eve and I didn't know what was going to happen. So I decided to do what I love to do and that was travel! I just decided I would hop in my old Caddy and drive till I figured this thing out. I would drive until I knew if I REALLY wanted this life with Teresa or not. I had no clue as to where I was going or how long this would take, but I wouldn't come back till I had decided if I could live like this or not. Little did I know I would have a great and horrible adventure and end up in Chicago!

New Blog

You may remember I mentioned some new blogs I was going to start. I am just about ready to unveil my new parenting blog for dads, but you moms should be encouraged by it as well. Stay tuned and watch for the links.

Clarification

My counters are back and if you add them both up you will get like 3700 or so the 5000 comes from my other 2 blogs I have discontinued The Daily Verse and my fun short stories. THey had 950 and 350 roughly.

We did it!

I want to thank everyone we have hit the 5000 mark! Oddly enough my counter has went out on the site, but the place that places the ads also counts and as of right now we are at almost 5100! Thank you everyone!

5000 clicks in all!

5000 clicks in all!!

We will most likely hit this number today!!

I started these blogs on the 19th of December last year!

I am so happy we have reached this mile stone in just over 3 months!

Thank you so much for clicking in I believe the more clicks I get the easier it will be

to become published!

This number includes clicks from the Daily Verse and my fun short stories blogs as well.

It starts

So here I am waiting to hear and worried over what Teresa is going to say. The fear was so great I would break out in sweats and I couldn't sleep. I was all tore up wondering if my whole life at least the one I had dreamed of was about to be ripped from me, after I had just lost everything else which honestly I didn't have anything anyway the car turned it out was a lease.Still I felt like I had lost almost the world. So the next day after work I met Teresa in the church parking lot and she basically told me how it was. She would stay with me,but no one could know about the bankruptcy especially her parents. If they found out she would be gone. She wanted to know who already knew.First I told her Chris, but she was o.k. with that because she knew he would keep it quiet. Then she asked if I had told a lady named Marchetta who went to our church and was going through a divorce. I had been trying to help her deal with it. (like I knew what that was like then). She nearly hit the roof of the car when I squeamishly nodded yes. But you know Marchetta had told me something that has stuck with me all these years when I talked to her about it. Of course, that was nerve wracking because I thought she will think it is a sin or that I am trash, but no Marchetta looked at me with compassion and said these sweet words and you take these to your heart too. "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind". That is so true and as soon as I heard it my very soul was penetrated, but still I couldn't apply this to Teresa, to say she had a hold on me was to say the least. So I agreed to all of Teresa's demands so that she would stay with me. and so it starts, me doing everything and anything I can to keep Teresa from leaving me and her knowing it. But would it all be for naught?

Another new follower!

I just wanted to welcome our new follower Mbritz84 to the site. What an exciting week! We are quickly approaching 3000 clicks on this site and almost 5000 clicks in all! Thank you everyone!

Welcome Stephanie!

I just wanted to welcome Stephanie as our new follower, and how delighted I am she is enjoying the blogs. Now it is easy you can become a follower too!

Blog tip

To all our new readers this blog reads like a book so to get the most enjoyment from it you should start back at the first post and then work your way forward. You can do this by clicking on the archives on the side of the blog. Thank you for clicking in and I would love to hear from all of you. My email is nattysdaddy@newwavecomm.net.

Blog Milestone

This past weekend the blogs I write hit a milestone I wanted to share with everyone. We hit a total of over 4000 clicks!! I think that for blogs only not even 4 months old that is pretty good!
Last week we had over 700 clicks alone so as you can see it is growing quickly now. Thank you ever so much for clicking in.

Teresa finds out!

When I bought the Cadillac so soon after losing my new car I think possibly Teresa's aunt Oneida but we called her Needy knew something was up and tipped Teresa off. She was Vice President of a local bank. Teresa asked me one night in the front seatof that Caddy what was going on. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes I knew I could never just straight lie to her. She was too pure, too innocent,too loving (so I thought) for that. So very slowly, and very tearfully I told her of all the trouble that I had just went through. I also tried to make her remember without directly pointing it out that it was her that wanted me to take the fake Scott and Fetzer job which was the root cause of all this mess. I also wanted her to realize that through all of this I had spent basically nothing on myself, but had continued to do everything for her I could, just hoping and praying she would see that as true love for her. Yet when the word bankruptcy left my mouth I got what I would later call " the look". The look that night was one of disgust pure and utter disgust. Oh no she didn't understand, she... she... she oh no what had I done! Why did I have to tell her, Chris would've backed up whatever I said. I honestly don't remember exactly what she said because my mind was running a mile a minute and at that speed it didn't take long for me to get mad at her, since really it was all kind of her fault anyway. I mean she had basically forced me to go door to door selling vacuum cleaners, she had spent every last penny I had on trying to look like big shots. She had distracted me to the point I wasn't focused on selling like I needed to be in order to make the big money. Wait a minute here. Hey girl just who do you think...wait another minute here. I love this woman and the bottom line is I let her down. When I came back to my senses she quietly excused herself and said we will talk tomorrow.....Oh crap!!! What does that mean?

Nattysdaddy gets a Caddy!

After looking back at my last post to see where I had left off in the story I thought how amusing it is that I had went all the way to Winchester, Kentucky to file for bankruptcy so that no one would find out about it, and now 15 years later here I am putting it on this site for the whole world to see. Anyway, now with all these bills off of me I could start working my way back up which was very important to me. I had been so humbled and humiliated by all of this and to me it was like proof that I was, and always would be trash. Of course, that is probably because I was told and shown that on a daily basis by my family. Even though I determined in my heart that this would not all be for naught, that some good would come from it. So I learned a lesson from all of this, and for the first time in my life I began to watch my spending, at least I did where I was concerned, but where Teresa was concerned I started spending even more. She knew I had all that car payment off of me, so I knew she expected more. So what could I do? I couldn't lose her to after just losing everything else.
Finally, after a few months at work I was selling enough homes to stay out of the draw and be making a little money. I traded that little puddle jumper for a 10 year old Cadillac. My dream car, of course, it was old and had a lot of miles on it and the hood looked like it had Leprosy. But it was still a Cadillac with all the bells and whistles and I LOVED IT!

Special Prayer Request

I am posting a very special prayer request from a gentleman from Albany, Kentucky on my weekly verse site please follow the link here on this site or go to http://the-weekly-verse.blogspot.com to read it yourself. Thank you and let's support our brother who has suffered by losing his 14 year old Daughter Tara in a car accident.

Remember the Miracle?

If you have been reading for a while you know that last month I reported having a miracle occur in me one night at work. Well I want you to know there has been a very significant change in me. I have spent the last month getting everything in my life straightened out from finances to my health to the cleanliness of my home. I am just about caught up and so hopefully beginning next week I will have some more time to blog and even add some videos keep clicking in and as always thank you!!

New blogs coming soon!!

Be on the lookout in the next few days/weeks I will be adding some great new blogs!! There will be a parenting blog for dads, a weight loss blog as I am on a weight loss journey, There will be a comedy blog that will have video of me doing stand up comedy and another video blog of me singing! I will also be starting a YouTube channel. I will be sure to keep you all informed, now I will still be doing this blog and my religious blog the weekly verse. We are just about to when I get married on this blog and that's when things start heating up so stay clicked in!



Thank you for clicking on the ads displayed I make money for that and I am a poor boy!!

nights like tonight

Sometimes on nights like tonight all I can do is just sit and cry, because everything I see and everything I hear reminds me of the fact that all my life I have had no one. Neither of my parents cared for me. My wife never loved me and I lost my daughter. Surely I am all alone and I truly believe if I should live another 50 years or another 50 days I will stay alone. Usually the reality of this doesn't weigh me down except for well nights like tonight.

Great news!!

I just checked my email and Chris is o.k.!!! Thank you Lord !!

Several new posts

There are several new posts so be sure to read them all, and as always thank you for clicking in!

Prayer requests

One of the gentlemen I take care of is in the hospital and it's nothing serious he'll be fine, but I worry when he's with new people because he can require alot of care and most people just can't handle it.


Also please remember Chris Phillips in your prayers, he's the Chris in the story, you may know he is in Afghanistan right now, well for about three weeks now he hasn't responded to my emails and I am getting worried.

Last weekend

Last weekend Natalie had a Governor's cup competition at a local elementary school. It being my weekend to have her I took her, and after her test Teresa and her parents showed up. When Natalie had her first academic team challenge they had us go to the Library to watch it. I had sit down on the aisle. Teresa's parents went down my row and sat on the opposite end, because by the time they got there that was all that was left. Now here's a bombshell I haven't dropped yet. Teresa can no longer walk without assistance and she gets around by a scooter (This is due to Multiple Sclerosis and will of course be talked about later) So Teresa had no choice but to sit by me which I am sure she hated to do, but again she had no choice, so for 15 minutes there we were sitting side by side for the first time in what, almost ten years watching our baby compete in an academic team challenge (Natalie is the only child on the team to come from a broken home!) I tell you it was all I could do to keep from busting out bawling right there. We just felt like a family again and usually you can feel the animosity from Teresa, but not that day,no on that day she wasn't warm or anything towards me, but it was like she had quit hating me at least. Later that night when I told Natalie about it because she hadn't seen us because she had her back to us I did bust out crying and for the first time in all this mess Natalie cried about it too. I just felt as though I needed to share this. Can you imagine?

Lieing to the church!!

O.K. looking back anyone with half a brain that knew me had to know what was going on with me once my car was repossessed. Oh yes my car got repossessed, and it's a wonder my suits didn't get repoed to. By the time I was making good money at Clayton's it was just too late. With insurance over 330 dollars a month and gas and lunch costing me probably over 200 a month I just couldn't make it because of course Teresa still expected to go out every weekend and spend spend spend.I would've done anything to make her happy, and yet no matter what I did in the end she was never happy with me and often the very things I did in an effort to win her over just drove her farther away. I ended up buying a little Pontiac T 1000 for 700 cash., They were basically a chevette, but this one had a sunroof so I was happy with that. So after I lost my car I knew that the only thing left for me to do was file bankruptcy. Of course mother was having a field day with her I TOLD YOU SO! A mother that was tickled to see her son suffer kind of makes me go hm mm? I went all the way to Winchester, Kentucky to file for bankruptcy in an attempt not to let anyone find out. Joe at work thought it was a great idea while Josh thought I was being to hasty. I loved both those guys and respected their opinions. They couldn't have been more different, but to me they were just the best men I had ever met outside of church even if they might lie to a customer. Guys if you ever read this thank you for your friendship. Of course everyone at our little church wanted to know what had happened to my new car and why I was now driving this puddle jumper, and of course being the super salesperson I was what did I do? I lied and told everyone I had sold the car to be able to save money for a wedding. I honestly don't know if anyone believed that hokey but it sure made Teresa's family mad!!

Panic sheer panic!!

As I said every night on the way home in Eubank, I would stop in at the New Life Church of God of Prophecy in Waynesburg, Kentucky and fall face down and pray for a miracle, sometimes for several hours a night. Sometimes Chris would show up to practice his music, he loved and I mean loved music. I let Chris in on what was happening to me as bad as I hated to. Chris came from money and he knew I didn't. Yet he had always I don't know how to say it, it was like he didn't see me as the people I came from, but he saw me as an equal and he respected me. That meant the world to me. I was so afraid now with this financial trouble he would lose his respect for me and he might think I was no good or capable or even honorable, but I trusted him enough to go ahead and share my misery. Of course Chris was very supportive and didn't tell a soul. At this point in our relationship I was sure Teresa would drop me like a hot potato if she knew the truth.I was so nervous during this awful time in my life I would physically get sick. course it didn't help matters any that my mother was telling me they would put me in jail for not being able to pay my bills and her calling me a thief over and over didn't help me either. You know I can not even begin to imagine what it would be like to have a supportive and encouraging parent who I could feel love from. If you have this amazing blessing in your life you truly don't know how wonderful that is. Call that mom or that dad when you read this and tell them you love them and then the next time you have an opportunity to do something for them with a glad heart go above and beyond for them for they truly have done so for you!

I thought it couldn't happen to me

I knew even though I was facing hardships on several fronts that I was still where God wanted me at the time, but I was in unfamiliar territory yet again. Now I had grown up as you know extremely poor and was still living at home with my mother in her little cracker box of a trailor, but in the last year or so I had achieved some pretty awesome things for a just turned 21 year old kid. I had a new car, my real estate license, I had been part owner in a restaurant, I had sung on television and my credit was perfect.Not too bad for someone with my upbringing. I had also always spouted off about how God will bless you financially if you honor him and put him first. So how was it possible after just finding the love of my life, a person who money was so important to that I would now be going broke? Was God no longer on my side? Had he abandoned me? Every night when I would get off work on my way home I would stop in the church and fall face down and ask God for a miracle. I had to have one or else. And yet no miracle came, at least not the one I wanted or was even imagining.

New Postings Alert

I had planned on posting tonight, but it is getting so late here in the Eastern Time Zone so in the morning I will be making several posts be sure to click in.

Notice

I will be writing my new posts for the week Sunday evening after 9. This weekend is just busy busy but I will explain all then, and I have several posts to make that I think will be really interesting. Thank you and God bless!!

Prayer Request

I usually only do this on my Religous blogs, but this one is so important. On Wednesday night in my town a lady I do not know, but had spoke to once named Michelle Black fell asleep at the wheel and one of her three children died as a result, another was seriously injured. I can't imagine what this family is going through with the guilt and the grief. Please, Please remember her and her family.

Another new job.... the most important one so far!

Finally, after 6 weeks of interviews all over Kentucky I got a job with Clayton Homes in Stanford. I was excited because according to my interviewers this job paid about 40 to 50,000 a year! That was about twice as much as the furniture store, plus I thought it would be great for leads on Real Estate. Shew my money problems were over, and I was a big success with a great job, that I vowed to never quit, my money problems were over right?! Man was a naive kid or what! The job was of course commission only, and while some salespeople did make good money, some did not. My weekly check was called a draw and came out of what I sold, even worse it was only for minimum wage! Nobody told me I would start off in the whole for minimum wage! Oh crap is the only way to describe my emotions at the time! I can't make it on minimum wage! What if I don't sell anything do I have to pay the draw back? I was getting my education the hard way!! What if this was a big scam like the vacuum cleaners? I had no choice again, but to stick it out and see if people really bought these new mobile homes. I loved getting to see all the new homes I was living in moms 12 by 48 1973 trailor and these new 95 models were so much nicer than how we lived I wondered if maybe someday we could get one.
My first Saturday I sold a used house and made like almost 400, course by the time I got paid I owed it in draw. So that's how it went for the first 6 weeks or so, I would sell it and by the time it closed and then all the paperwork was approved and I could actually get paid it just went to pay my draw back. Still I knew I was onto something here. I was good at this and I LOVED IT! The only problem was my money was gone and by the time I bought gas and lunch and dinner I had nothing to pay my bills with, now what!