cRazY HaPpEnInGs!

Well here are some more things I wanted to share that have been real silly or important. First off I feel I must share the most important thing first. I have been severely depressed for more than 13 years. Beginning last year as I began to lose weight I began to feel better. I lost 38 pounds last year and that is when I began to do these blogs. As you know, though recently I was getting to go back in to that depressed state of mind. I had an ear infection that took 12 weeks to get over and I gained 14 pounds back I think that had some to do with it (I am morbidly obese!) Anyway, I began to feel some better and little bit by little bit I had been making progress, when all of a sudden, quick as a flash, Tuesday night while just sitting on the couch at work it was like God stepped in and healed my heart, my mind and my soul all at onc,e and without anything going on at the time. I mean I wasn't praying or thinking about anything important at the time or anything, but all of a sudden a joy swept over me more powerful than any other time in my life, even the joy of the birth of my daughter, and I honestly believe one as life changing as that as well!I can't explain it, it's just better felt than tellt! I have never experienced anything like it and it has changed my life. I am now making lists of everything I need to do and I am working harder than I have worked in years. I have cleaned my house in places I never have! I have an attitude that I CAN DO ANYTHING! Whereas before I felt powerless to do anything. My whole outlook has changed. I lived in fear of the future and what might be stolen from me next to the point I was afraid to open my mail, and so many times I didn't, which was stupid and has caused me some financial problems. Now, I am attacking things head on, taking care of them and moving on. I am also finding out that I can easily handle these things. I am capable, I am worthy, I am smart, and I will no longer waste the gifts God has given me!

Another great thing I found out recently that I had been very worried about is neither Natalie or me has Diabetes. This was a great concern, but God made a way for us both to be tested for free and it came out o.k. and for that I am truly thankful!

For the first time in almost ten years I sent my wife a Valentines. I sent Teresa an e-mail saying Happy Valentines Day, but I left out an n in her address so she didn't get it.

A few weeks ago Natalie complained about the amount of fat on her steak I cooked her for dinner so I went off on a big story how when I was little the only meat we had was neckbones and how she should be thankful for a steak with a little fat on it and after I finished little Natty put her chin in her hands and said soft and slow "tell me more" I thought I would crack up!

I fully believe I am in a turning point in my life where I amabout to see my dreams come true and I also believe these blogs play a crucial role in that. I also really believe I am getting close and that is why Satan has fought me witht his depression coming back. I handled these blogs stupidly by not writing for so long. I was getting almost a hundred hits a day just on this one blog and now we are lucky to get ten (which still I am thankful for!) I have had readers from 14 different countries other than America! I have had people email me with such encouragement and stories of how they have helped them. No telling who has seen them and it only takes one person with the power to read it and make it into a book. Please keep reading and tell your friends!!