New Years 1996!

Well, I was headed back for Somerset,Kentucky just as fast as I could go. Here I was in one of the largest cities in the country for the first time in my life something I had always dreamed of doing, and I didn't see nothing but a pay phone! But I didn't even care I knew something, something I didn't know before. I knew that Teresa probably didn't love me and that I loved her anyway. All that I was already aware of but my revelation was this. I didn't care. Now don't get me wrong it still hurt me, but what I mean is I had found I would be willing to live with it and live with it I did and still do. Part of me believed I could make her love me in time and part of me knew that was never going to happen. I just knew that I hadn't felt this way about anyone except Jalaine in my life and by dragging my heals I had lost her and I didn't want to lose Teresa to. I just couldn't go through that again. I had decided to live with that knowledge and accept it. I headed back to Marchetta's to wring the New Year in with them since Teresa had said we would talk on Monday and I knew better than to disturb her family on a holiday. I made it back before midnight and we had a wonderful time of fun and fellowship me, Lisa and Marchetta and her two sons. But amidst all the laughter there was some sadness on my part as it was beginning to sink in that with my acceptance of Teresa's feelings that I would never have a happy home like I was in right now.