Another Miracle!!

If you are a faithful reader of the blogs you know they were born out of a miracle of God healing me of a depression I had faced since my separation. Now that is true and it is still evident in me today, however a couple of years ago I went back to court to try and get Natalie to be able to live here. I truly believed that God was working and for a while it seemed as though it was going to happen. Months before this Natalie and I was driving to Liberty, Ky. and out of the blue and for no apparent reason I felt God spoke to me and said "your daughter is coming home soon." I had to pull over and I just bawled. So I really believed it was finally going to happen. So when it didn't I became extremely angry with God although I would never come right out and say it. So when my Pastor did something I didn't agree with I left the church even though it was growing quickly and people were being saved and I was the Worship Leader. I kind of did it I guess to get back at God. I was so depressed I gained 20 pounds to reach my highest weight ever of 320 and I could no longer function at my job, and I had a very very good job selling Life Insurance. had I stayed I would be making 75 to 100 thousand dollars a year right now and in another 10 years probably 200 to 250 thousand a year. It was a dream job as I even made out my own schedule and it was an excellent Christian environment and they were really good to me there. But after I lost Natalie again I just couldn't go on. Now this added to the depression I already had by leaps and bounds and that was what the Lord healed me of in December of last year. I was still however extremely upset or mad at God and have been ever since then. I have stayed out of church and began to be selfish and self centered as well as somewhat vain. Saturday though much like in December just out of the blue God healed me of that pain as well. I saw something in a movie that touched me I can't remember what it was but I began to cry and cry and just repeatedly (which was unnecessary) ask for forgiveness. God did just that! He restored my soul and spirit, my zeal, my fervor and my love for him and I am so thankful!! God knows best and he will withhold no good thing from me or Natalie!