Where did the love go?....Chicago?

Things definitely changed after that, Teresa knew that I was desperate to have her in my life, and that gave her a good amount of control and she too full advantage of that. It was like I was one of those Jewish husbands you see on TV that always says "yes dear" in that nasally whiny voice. Well, as you can imagine that gets old pretty quick. I soon came to resent Teresa for treating me like her little servant boy. Her superior attitude was really starting to annoy me, even if in my heart I did believe she was superior. Even her demand for me to open car doors for her was done in such a snotty way that I began to resent that, even though honestly, I had loved doing that for her before when I thought it was appreciated. All these things came to build up over the next few months, till finally I was ready to explode. So right after Christmas time in 1995 we broke up. Marchetta really gave me some good counsel and so did our new friend Lisa who had been a Jehovah's Witness and had recently started coming to our church. Chris had been away at College so these two had filled in for him and even though they were 40 year old women they were my best friends at the time.(I haven't seen Marchetta 5 times in the last ten years, but I actually saw her yesterday!)These friendships did nothing, but anger Teresa who honestly had no friends at least none she was close with. Teresa didn't seem really to like other people. I honestly see her as some what of a snob, her and my mother were so much alike! I loved people always have,and I wanted friends in my life and I KNEW a life with Teresa would basically mean us only... oh and of course her family. So here we were broke up and it was the day before New Years Eve and I didn't know what was going to happen. So I decided to do what I love to do and that was travel! I just decided I would hop in my old Caddy and drive till I figured this thing out. I would drive until I knew if I REALLY wanted this life with Teresa or not. I had no clue as to where I was going or how long this would take, but I wouldn't come back till I had decided if I could live like this or not. Little did I know I would have a great and horrible adventure and end up in Chicago!

New Blog

You may remember I mentioned some new blogs I was going to start. I am just about ready to unveil my new parenting blog for dads, but you moms should be encouraged by it as well. Stay tuned and watch for the links.

Clarification

My counters are back and if you add them both up you will get like 3700 or so the 5000 comes from my other 2 blogs I have discontinued The Daily Verse and my fun short stories. THey had 950 and 350 roughly.

We did it!

I want to thank everyone we have hit the 5000 mark! Oddly enough my counter has went out on the site, but the place that places the ads also counts and as of right now we are at almost 5100! Thank you everyone!

5000 clicks in all!

5000 clicks in all!!

We will most likely hit this number today!!

I started these blogs on the 19th of December last year!

I am so happy we have reached this mile stone in just over 3 months!

Thank you so much for clicking in I believe the more clicks I get the easier it will be

to become published!

This number includes clicks from the Daily Verse and my fun short stories blogs as well.

It starts

So here I am waiting to hear and worried over what Teresa is going to say. The fear was so great I would break out in sweats and I couldn't sleep. I was all tore up wondering if my whole life at least the one I had dreamed of was about to be ripped from me, after I had just lost everything else which honestly I didn't have anything anyway the car turned it out was a lease.Still I felt like I had lost almost the world. So the next day after work I met Teresa in the church parking lot and she basically told me how it was. She would stay with me,but no one could know about the bankruptcy especially her parents. If they found out she would be gone. She wanted to know who already knew.First I told her Chris, but she was o.k. with that because she knew he would keep it quiet. Then she asked if I had told a lady named Marchetta who went to our church and was going through a divorce. I had been trying to help her deal with it. (like I knew what that was like then). She nearly hit the roof of the car when I squeamishly nodded yes. But you know Marchetta had told me something that has stuck with me all these years when I talked to her about it. Of course, that was nerve wracking because I thought she will think it is a sin or that I am trash, but no Marchetta looked at me with compassion and said these sweet words and you take these to your heart too. "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind". That is so true and as soon as I heard it my very soul was penetrated, but still I couldn't apply this to Teresa, to say she had a hold on me was to say the least. So I agreed to all of Teresa's demands so that she would stay with me. and so it starts, me doing everything and anything I can to keep Teresa from leaving me and her knowing it. But would it all be for naught?

Another new follower!

I just wanted to welcome our new follower Mbritz84 to the site. What an exciting week! We are quickly approaching 3000 clicks on this site and almost 5000 clicks in all! Thank you everyone!

Welcome Stephanie!

I just wanted to welcome Stephanie as our new follower, and how delighted I am she is enjoying the blogs. Now it is easy you can become a follower too!

Blog tip

To all our new readers this blog reads like a book so to get the most enjoyment from it you should start back at the first post and then work your way forward. You can do this by clicking on the archives on the side of the blog. Thank you for clicking in and I would love to hear from all of you. My email is nattysdaddy@newwavecomm.net.

Blog Milestone

This past weekend the blogs I write hit a milestone I wanted to share with everyone. We hit a total of over 4000 clicks!! I think that for blogs only not even 4 months old that is pretty good!
Last week we had over 700 clicks alone so as you can see it is growing quickly now. Thank you ever so much for clicking in.

Teresa finds out!

When I bought the Cadillac so soon after losing my new car I think possibly Teresa's aunt Oneida but we called her Needy knew something was up and tipped Teresa off. She was Vice President of a local bank. Teresa asked me one night in the front seatof that Caddy what was going on. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes I knew I could never just straight lie to her. She was too pure, too innocent,too loving (so I thought) for that. So very slowly, and very tearfully I told her of all the trouble that I had just went through. I also tried to make her remember without directly pointing it out that it was her that wanted me to take the fake Scott and Fetzer job which was the root cause of all this mess. I also wanted her to realize that through all of this I had spent basically nothing on myself, but had continued to do everything for her I could, just hoping and praying she would see that as true love for her. Yet when the word bankruptcy left my mouth I got what I would later call " the look". The look that night was one of disgust pure and utter disgust. Oh no she didn't understand, she... she... she oh no what had I done! Why did I have to tell her, Chris would've backed up whatever I said. I honestly don't remember exactly what she said because my mind was running a mile a minute and at that speed it didn't take long for me to get mad at her, since really it was all kind of her fault anyway. I mean she had basically forced me to go door to door selling vacuum cleaners, she had spent every last penny I had on trying to look like big shots. She had distracted me to the point I wasn't focused on selling like I needed to be in order to make the big money. Wait a minute here. Hey girl just who do you think...wait another minute here. I love this woman and the bottom line is I let her down. When I came back to my senses she quietly excused herself and said we will talk tomorrow.....Oh crap!!! What does that mean?

Nattysdaddy gets a Caddy!

After looking back at my last post to see where I had left off in the story I thought how amusing it is that I had went all the way to Winchester, Kentucky to file for bankruptcy so that no one would find out about it, and now 15 years later here I am putting it on this site for the whole world to see. Anyway, now with all these bills off of me I could start working my way back up which was very important to me. I had been so humbled and humiliated by all of this and to me it was like proof that I was, and always would be trash. Of course, that is probably because I was told and shown that on a daily basis by my family. Even though I determined in my heart that this would not all be for naught, that some good would come from it. So I learned a lesson from all of this, and for the first time in my life I began to watch my spending, at least I did where I was concerned, but where Teresa was concerned I started spending even more. She knew I had all that car payment off of me, so I knew she expected more. So what could I do? I couldn't lose her to after just losing everything else.
Finally, after a few months at work I was selling enough homes to stay out of the draw and be making a little money. I traded that little puddle jumper for a 10 year old Cadillac. My dream car, of course, it was old and had a lot of miles on it and the hood looked like it had Leprosy. But it was still a Cadillac with all the bells and whistles and I LOVED IT!

Special Prayer Request

I am posting a very special prayer request from a gentleman from Albany, Kentucky on my weekly verse site please follow the link here on this site or go to http://the-weekly-verse.blogspot.com to read it yourself. Thank you and let's support our brother who has suffered by losing his 14 year old Daughter Tara in a car accident.

Remember the Miracle?

If you have been reading for a while you know that last month I reported having a miracle occur in me one night at work. Well I want you to know there has been a very significant change in me. I have spent the last month getting everything in my life straightened out from finances to my health to the cleanliness of my home. I am just about caught up and so hopefully beginning next week I will have some more time to blog and even add some videos keep clicking in and as always thank you!!

New blogs coming soon!!

Be on the lookout in the next few days/weeks I will be adding some great new blogs!! There will be a parenting blog for dads, a weight loss blog as I am on a weight loss journey, There will be a comedy blog that will have video of me doing stand up comedy and another video blog of me singing! I will also be starting a YouTube channel. I will be sure to keep you all informed, now I will still be doing this blog and my religious blog the weekly verse. We are just about to when I get married on this blog and that's when things start heating up so stay clicked in!



Thank you for clicking on the ads displayed I make money for that and I am a poor boy!!

nights like tonight

Sometimes on nights like tonight all I can do is just sit and cry, because everything I see and everything I hear reminds me of the fact that all my life I have had no one. Neither of my parents cared for me. My wife never loved me and I lost my daughter. Surely I am all alone and I truly believe if I should live another 50 years or another 50 days I will stay alone. Usually the reality of this doesn't weigh me down except for well nights like tonight.

Great news!!

I just checked my email and Chris is o.k.!!! Thank you Lord !!

Several new posts

There are several new posts so be sure to read them all, and as always thank you for clicking in!

Prayer requests

One of the gentlemen I take care of is in the hospital and it's nothing serious he'll be fine, but I worry when he's with new people because he can require alot of care and most people just can't handle it.


Also please remember Chris Phillips in your prayers, he's the Chris in the story, you may know he is in Afghanistan right now, well for about three weeks now he hasn't responded to my emails and I am getting worried.

Last weekend

Last weekend Natalie had a Governor's cup competition at a local elementary school. It being my weekend to have her I took her, and after her test Teresa and her parents showed up. When Natalie had her first academic team challenge they had us go to the Library to watch it. I had sit down on the aisle. Teresa's parents went down my row and sat on the opposite end, because by the time they got there that was all that was left. Now here's a bombshell I haven't dropped yet. Teresa can no longer walk without assistance and she gets around by a scooter (This is due to Multiple Sclerosis and will of course be talked about later) So Teresa had no choice but to sit by me which I am sure she hated to do, but again she had no choice, so for 15 minutes there we were sitting side by side for the first time in what, almost ten years watching our baby compete in an academic team challenge (Natalie is the only child on the team to come from a broken home!) I tell you it was all I could do to keep from busting out bawling right there. We just felt like a family again and usually you can feel the animosity from Teresa, but not that day,no on that day she wasn't warm or anything towards me, but it was like she had quit hating me at least. Later that night when I told Natalie about it because she hadn't seen us because she had her back to us I did bust out crying and for the first time in all this mess Natalie cried about it too. I just felt as though I needed to share this. Can you imagine?

Lieing to the church!!

O.K. looking back anyone with half a brain that knew me had to know what was going on with me once my car was repossessed. Oh yes my car got repossessed, and it's a wonder my suits didn't get repoed to. By the time I was making good money at Clayton's it was just too late. With insurance over 330 dollars a month and gas and lunch costing me probably over 200 a month I just couldn't make it because of course Teresa still expected to go out every weekend and spend spend spend.I would've done anything to make her happy, and yet no matter what I did in the end she was never happy with me and often the very things I did in an effort to win her over just drove her farther away. I ended up buying a little Pontiac T 1000 for 700 cash., They were basically a chevette, but this one had a sunroof so I was happy with that. So after I lost my car I knew that the only thing left for me to do was file bankruptcy. Of course mother was having a field day with her I TOLD YOU SO! A mother that was tickled to see her son suffer kind of makes me go hm mm? I went all the way to Winchester, Kentucky to file for bankruptcy in an attempt not to let anyone find out. Joe at work thought it was a great idea while Josh thought I was being to hasty. I loved both those guys and respected their opinions. They couldn't have been more different, but to me they were just the best men I had ever met outside of church even if they might lie to a customer. Guys if you ever read this thank you for your friendship. Of course everyone at our little church wanted to know what had happened to my new car and why I was now driving this puddle jumper, and of course being the super salesperson I was what did I do? I lied and told everyone I had sold the car to be able to save money for a wedding. I honestly don't know if anyone believed that hokey but it sure made Teresa's family mad!!

Panic sheer panic!!

As I said every night on the way home in Eubank, I would stop in at the New Life Church of God of Prophecy in Waynesburg, Kentucky and fall face down and pray for a miracle, sometimes for several hours a night. Sometimes Chris would show up to practice his music, he loved and I mean loved music. I let Chris in on what was happening to me as bad as I hated to. Chris came from money and he knew I didn't. Yet he had always I don't know how to say it, it was like he didn't see me as the people I came from, but he saw me as an equal and he respected me. That meant the world to me. I was so afraid now with this financial trouble he would lose his respect for me and he might think I was no good or capable or even honorable, but I trusted him enough to go ahead and share my misery. Of course Chris was very supportive and didn't tell a soul. At this point in our relationship I was sure Teresa would drop me like a hot potato if she knew the truth.I was so nervous during this awful time in my life I would physically get sick. course it didn't help matters any that my mother was telling me they would put me in jail for not being able to pay my bills and her calling me a thief over and over didn't help me either. You know I can not even begin to imagine what it would be like to have a supportive and encouraging parent who I could feel love from. If you have this amazing blessing in your life you truly don't know how wonderful that is. Call that mom or that dad when you read this and tell them you love them and then the next time you have an opportunity to do something for them with a glad heart go above and beyond for them for they truly have done so for you!

I thought it couldn't happen to me

I knew even though I was facing hardships on several fronts that I was still where God wanted me at the time, but I was in unfamiliar territory yet again. Now I had grown up as you know extremely poor and was still living at home with my mother in her little cracker box of a trailor, but in the last year or so I had achieved some pretty awesome things for a just turned 21 year old kid. I had a new car, my real estate license, I had been part owner in a restaurant, I had sung on television and my credit was perfect.Not too bad for someone with my upbringing. I had also always spouted off about how God will bless you financially if you honor him and put him first. So how was it possible after just finding the love of my life, a person who money was so important to that I would now be going broke? Was God no longer on my side? Had he abandoned me? Every night when I would get off work on my way home I would stop in the church and fall face down and ask God for a miracle. I had to have one or else. And yet no miracle came, at least not the one I wanted or was even imagining.