Apology and Explanantion

I apologize to everyone who has checked the blog in the last days and found that I have made no new posts. Last weekend I became deeply depressed (ever been there) I will soon be 37 and it justh it me like a ton of bricks how little I have accomplished. I could do little more than sit and eat and that I did. I imagine I consumed probably no less than 20000 calories no joke I ate two whole large and loaded pizzas and a whole container of Reeses Ice Cream among other things. It has taken me till now to get my head on straight and out of you know what . I have had my daughter with me this weekend and that has helped immensely. I am in the process of making some very important life decisions and I BEG YOUR PRAYERS as I do. I promise to resume writing shortly but it will probably not be on a daily basis as before but at least a 2 or 3 time a week thing. Thank you so so much for clicking in!

The Ocean

I was actually going to pop the question. I was going to ask Teresa to marry me. I bought a video camera and asked Chris to film it. I had it all pictured in my head just how it was going to be. I would get down on one knee in front of the entire youth group and the pastors and I would propose marriage to this dream woman of mine. Teresa was my dream woman. She was soft and gentle and good and decent. She was smart and attractive and she seemed incapable of anything petty or vulgar. As the trip approached I of course opened my big mouth and let it slip that I had a big surprise for her on the trip. She then let me know in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to ask her to marry her yet. That it had not been an appropriate amount of time since we had started dating and I would just be wasting my time and ruining any future chance I had. I learned very quickly that Teresa was going to have things her way or no way. So I quickly changed my plans and went back to work trying to get her to feel about me the way I felt about her. Shew what a job that will be.

Our New Relationship

So I leaned over and I softly kissed her. She let me kiss her!! Then I soflty said "well I better go" and she just nodded and smiled. As I walked back to my car I was on top of the world and could scarcely believe what just happened. I was totally head over heals with a GREAT BIG stupid grin on my face in love. But of course I had been like that since that first moment I saw her, but now there was a chance she might love me too one day. I had dreamed of her becoming my wife from the first moment I had seen her and I had just become one step closer to making that a reality. We began dating from that point and every weekend we would go out on Friday night for an expensive dinner, Saturday night as well and then after Church on Sunday morning and Sunday night I was spending about 100 bucks a weekend on dinners but I didn't care it was well worth it to get to eat with Teresa.
Now just a few weeks into our relationship it just so happened that the church was going to have an international youth conference in Fort Mills South Carolina at the home of PTL you know the ministry of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. The property had just been taken over by the Hilton Hotel chain from the church, and the Church of God of Prophecy had rented it for the event. Now we at the local church had decided that we would go to Myrtle Beach for a little while to see the ocean. I had never saw the ocean and couldn't believe I was going get to see it now. Then of course I got a great idea since the ocean was so romantic I had heard, I was actually going to ........

sick day

sorry no post today not feeling well

Our first date

I held my breath and waited for the inevitable ugly no, when what to my unbelieving ears did I hear, but a beautiful yes! What she said yes, she said yes!! I was about to jump straight up and down. We walked out of the church and I asked whose car do you want to take? She said we could take hers and as we walked around the corner where she was parked she tossed me the KEYS!
What she was actually going to let me drive her brand new $25,000+ Camaro? I know I literally gasped, but I didn't argue. I never in my life thought I would get to drive such a car, I mean after all my own mother wouldn't let me drive her old clunkers, now if I can just get my big butt in and out of it without huffing and puffing it'll be alright. We went to eat at Frisch's Big Boy at her request, and I still remember where we sat and what we ate, but mostly I remember how she looked. I thought she looked like an angel and what was she doing with me and why had she not already been snatched by some other guy? I thought to myself she was perfect in every way. So gentle, so tender, so innocent (oh brother). As we sat there I was in heaven, absolute and sheer heaven. We finished eating and went back to the church I drove very slowly to show her I respected her things and to make the date last longer. When we got back to the parking lot we talked seriously about starting a relationship. It was all going so well I leaned over and I.......

New Years Day 1995.

So for the next few weeks I became a regular at Waynesburg Church. I really liked the church not only because I had fallen in love with one of its members, but I in fact I had fallen in love with the people there at least most of them. Teresa's family was kind of cold toward me but I am sure it is because they recognized my intentions right off the bat. One day right before Christmas after the Sunday Service Chris and I and Teresa were on the front steps of the church talking and Teresa looked at Chris and asked his age and he was 19, then she looked at me and I said 21. I knew she was 25 so I was closer to her age. I noticed after I answered she turned her whole body toward me. So she had asked Chris his age first. She had been hoping he was closer to her age and when she found out he wasn't she thought she would settle for me (this is something she later denied). In my heart though I knew the truth and if Chris had been 20 none of the next few years would have happened.Honestly though I didn't care if I was second choice as long as I was in the running.

The church had decided to change it's name to New Life from Waynesburg and on January 1st they had a big ceremony to make it official. After the service a lot of people quickly left and so I made my way downstairs where I knew Teresa would be cleaning her room up. I caught her in the fellowship hall as she was leaving. I began to talk to her nervous as I was and she was talking back to me. The more we talked the more I thought she was giving me little signals that it was o.k. to ask her out to eat. Finally just like jumping in water you know is cold I took a deep breath and said " you want to go eat"?

Breaking a vow

Believe it or not I do believe that vows are sacred and I honestly do believe you are bound to them. Now that being said I will tell you that in my life I have only made two vows 1 being my marriage vows which I am divorced so enough said there and the other you may recall was that I would never go back to the Church of God of Prophecy. Well one look at my future wife/ex wife and I was ready to forget all about that vow. I could scarcely believe that the little one room church way back in a hole was affiliated with this big modern church just over the county line. Nor that because of this some people knew of my grandmother and knew some of my family history. I really was enjoying the church anyway. These people seemed happy to do anything for the Lord. They had big dinners nearly every week and just truly enjoyed one anothers company. Now they weren't evangelizing and seeking after souls but I was awestruck with Teresa I didn't pay any attention.
Teresa I learned taught childrens church and had for several years and I had never even heard of children's church. Her mother Genevieve taught the young people and right off the bat I knew Genevieve didn't care much for me but she wasn't ugly with me (yet you just wait have I got some stories to tell you) I became a regular at the church as my car was ready the next week. My insurance went to 335 dollars a month but I could swing it. Teresa seemed to like that I had a new car even if it was a little Sentra. She had a brand new Camaro Z 28 with T tops. Was I crazy? Was this classy, beautiful from a good home lady ever going to fall for a guy like me? Would I ever even get the nerve to ask her out? Was God going to get me for breaking my vow?

That first night

After the church service was over all the young people went down to the basement to play games. I had never seen a church like this, all of the kids were well behaved and everyone seemed like a family. I also couldn't help but notice that everyone was what I considered wealthy. Now my wealthy and the world's wealthy were two different definitions. They all came from good homes and good families and had all of lifes conveniences,so that fit my definition. They also seemed to be a very holy people. I didn't hear anyone say anything even remotely off color or unnice (is that a word?) Now while this might seem like not much to some of you, let me remind I had lived my life around trash. (I don't believe anyone is really trash, but it conjures up the right example in your mind)
I knew that if I really liked this girl and I were to ever really have a relationship with her she would find that out so I had to show her I was different, that I was really a person like them (only at the time I didn't even know if I was). So when I got to play a game with her I had to show myself. We played Taboo and it was my first time ever playing a game. I annihilated the other team I was really something of a big jerk. I wanted to impress her with my knowledge and in trying to do so it's a wonder she ever spoke to me I am usually a very nice guy but I rubbed my brilliance that night in everyone's nose. Of course it was because I felt so inferior but how was she going to know all of that and even when I noticed what I was doing which wasn't soon I still couldn't stop. Please God shut me up! What will she think of me now? Will she ever ever go out with me?

Those first few moments

Finally, after what seemed like several minutes I could let go of my safe spot. Chris had told me he thought her name was Teresa. Wait a minute he thought, he thought, he didn't know! How could he not know? I mean he had been going to church here for a month or so. I knew she had to be married already though and ruining my one chance for happiness. I mean this is Kentucky and Kentucky is infamous for children brides. I was afraid to ask Chris so I half whispered "is she married" I said it out of the corner of my lips like you see people do on tv. "I don't think so" Chris replied. He doesn't THINK so what had happened to my good friend why is he suddenly been struck down with a case of the I don't knows does he know he is killing me!
Teresa was playing with a group of kids in the parking lot and she was lovely, just lovely, she was smiling and having fun (something I would see less and less of through the years until now this is my only memory of it). I knew I had to find out more I almost didn't care if she was married I would still go after her I mean people do it all the time. She was to be my wife. I didn't know when and I didn't know how I just knew I was in love with the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Yes even more beautiful than Jalaine!

That Girl!!

We had just pulled up to the back of the church. I reluctanctly got out of the car half mad at myself for going back on my vow to stay away from the Church of God of Prophecy. As I stood with one hand on the cars roof frame and the other on the open door I saw her for the first time. I think it's the movie The Notebook that says " they say when you meet the love of your life time stands still and that's true." And that is true as I sit here I can still remember not only what she was wearing I can remember how the clouds in the sky looked and how the trees branches were moving with the wind. I can remember all of that some 15 years later because time for me did in fact stand still. I have never felt that way before or since that moment and instantly I was in love. Yes for me I know that love at first sight can and does exist.Instantly I was in love. Instantly I wanted to marry this girl. Instantly I was frozen in my tracks. Chris looked over at me and he kind of looked perplexed which he was real good at and he asked me what was wrong. I said in a whisper "that girl, who is that girl I want to marry that girl" which caused a smerk to come out of Chris I am sure he didn't believe me as I had never even mentioned a girl to him before other than talking about Jalaine. Who was this girl and why couldn't I at least move from my spot. What kind of spell had she already cast?

Twitter

I have started a Twitter account in attempt to promote the blogs and guess what. I was trying to see how people could find it I am listed under nattysdaddy1973 when I found an old account I had when I first learned of Twitter I made one post and it said "I am just sitting here in my underwear wondering what is this thing called Twitter." I was of course trying to be funny well Mr. Dane Cook must have liked it becasue he became a follower and he doesn't follow many. Maybe I can write,maybe if I had kept making funny tweets he would have let me write some stuff for him course it would have to be a lot different from the stuff he does now but still. I just thought that was neat and it made me feel special so I wanted to share that.

The big day is here!!

O.K. we have finally arrived at the big day, the day where we get started on the real story. If you have been following the story then you know that at this time in the story I am 21 years old, I work as a salesmen for a furniture store and sell Real Estate on the side. I live at home with my mother who treats me like dirt, but it's free. I have a best friend named Chris and we have some wacky adventures together. So far there has been no mention of any romance since I fell in love with Jalaine in High School and that is because there had been none. I hadn't been out but with maybe one person since then and that was Cindy Holsomback who I had dated off and on since the 4rth grade. Truth be told I had been much to busy working on my career to even think about a relationship. That summer everything was going great I had the new car, I had a good job and I was feeling very good about myself and my accomplishments, small as they were I was still proud. The only thing I was really upset over was church. I had seen God do a lot of miracles in peoples lives and with the little church itself that I was saved in I loved the little church and thought it was very special. My uncle Vola was still on my mind a-lot and he had come to church quite a bit, Aunt Pam seemed a little more mellow about it as well because at first they thought anyone who said they was a Christian was a wolf in sheep's clothing because they had seen a-lot of that so I knew God was working on them.
I was upset because when I finally decided to join the church which was part of the Church of God of Prophecy out of Cleveland Tennessee this is what happened, I went up to join the church and so did a lady who had been coming for several months very regularly. She was very poor as was practically everyone in the community. The pastor spoke with me and had me to agree to basically living a Godly life, and then he turned to the woman and told her that the church would not allow her to join with a ring on her finger. I saw the woman's face and how she looked so hurt. The way it had been taught and as uneducated as I am sure she was I got a sense that she associated church membership with being saved and ultimately going to Heaven. She began to cry and rub her ring gently with her calloused hands. She looked so pitiful I don't know if it was her wedding ring or not but I knew it was probably the nicest thing she had ever owned. She never spoke a word she just quietly turned and went back to her seat. I vowed from that moment on I wouldn't be back in the Church of God of Prophecy (a vow I will soon break). I put uncle Vola and Aunt Pam in God's hands and with a clear conscience I left.
So everything was going good except I was having trouble finding a church I liked. I had basically quit going to one imparticular church and was what I called church hopping. I had gone with Chris some but he had just left his church when his pastor left and he went to the Waynesburg Church of God of Prophecy (now known as New Life). I told him he was nuts but he didn't listen to me. Good thing too.

One rainy day in early September I was going to work and for some odd reason I took the old way which is a curvy road called 1247. My little Nissan was bad to hydroplane but I was going slow and not really thinking about the conditions of the road when I topped a hill and met a car in my lane! I hit the brakes and immediately I began to fishtail. I honestly thought I was going to die! I had no idea where the other car went or even where I was, but as I sit here I can remember that awesome peace that come over me, that let me know, no matter what even if this was the end I was o.k. Some 15 years later I can still feel that and so I don't fear death as most do. I couldn't have enough money to buy that peace if I owned the whole world! Slam I went right into a tree on my side and the impact was so strong it bent the car's roof and busted the windshield my door was pushed in to the point that it should've gutted me like a fish, but I didn't have a scratch! Which was a miracle!! Now here is a prime example of God working things for our good if I hadn't crashed that day my daughter would not be here! I'll explain a little later. Anyway I made my way to the house at the top of the hill which was the home of a lady who had just bought a new sectional from me and had in the beginning been very snotty with me till I had saved her 400 by telling her of an upcoming sale so she was real friendly now. I called my mother who cussed me black and blue and said "I told you, you couldn't drive a new car. Someday you'll listen". I said "just come get me mother". She said she wouldn't, but she did. I then called work and told them I would be late I had a wreck, then I called a tow truck."Mother arrived about an hour and a half later even though it is about a 3 minute drive as it is only 2 miles away. I had to listen to her mouth now for another 25 minutes as she drove me to work. Oh God what am I going to do now? I can't take this!
Mother owned two cars but I was not allowed to drive either one even though I had paid for the Oldsmobile, so while my car was in the shop she drove me back and forth and I went no where but to work.Chris wasn't allowed to come and visit me so when we would run around I would have to meet him out in the drive. My car was almost totaled and they said it would take about 4 weeks to fix it, when they told me that I liked to died. Oh well I could stand it if I had to, but I was going to miss church cause she wouldn't take me. Chris had offered to take me to church with him but after being such a jerk about him going to the Church of God of Prophecy I just couldn't bring myself to go I mean after all I had vowed right?

Finally after seven weeks it was late October and I couldn't stand it any longer I was spiritually dying I felt so weak I knew I was dieing so one Friday afternoon I called Chris (we had our own phone since I went to work) I told him he was going to have to come get me and take me to church I needed to go bad. Funny I have never felt that way before or since anyway he said "great they are actually having a weekend revival for the young people I will pick you up about 6". I said "fine" too weak to fight anymore. So Chris picks me up in his Nissan Pulsar with his T -Tops out cause it was a pretty warm day and drives me up to the church. We pulled around back and he parked and there she was.

Chris is in Afghanistan!

Hello everyone as you know I have found my old friend Chris! He joined the army soon after he got married which will be in the story later on, but I have just learned he is still enlisted some 15 years later. He is currently deployed in Afghanistan, so please pray for his safety and for his family. His wifes name is Vicki and they have two children Megan who is 12 and Matthew who is 9 please remember them as well. Thank you.

I have a new dream

I have a dream that everybody who is reading my blog will become a follower. Now come on help me make my dream come true. It's easy kust click on it. Now if you don't want to please let me know why not send me an email at nattydaddy@newwavecomm.net or give me a call at 606-802-2420 yep that's my real number. Don't worry when I become a famous author I can remove it (lol) I would love to hear from you though and find out what you really think!

Did I kiss my sister?

As you know if you have been reading the story and shame on you if you haven't, you better start o.k. when I was 15 I basically met my... my um... um sperm donor (he's no father) and spent some time with him. During that time I met a girl about my age named Nadine and we became fast friends. It was amazing how much we were alike and how much we laughed and cut up over silly stuff. Now Nadine got a little crush on me in the beginning and everyone knew it. One day my grandma and I was talking about it and she was seeing what I thought about all this, when I told her I thought I liked her too she sighed put her hands on her lap as she slowly stood and quietly and soberly said "follow me". That wasn't like Mammaw something was up! She walked into her bedroom sat down on her bed and patted her handmade quilt and said "sit down here by me baby". I said "Mammaw what's wrong" she said "Mammaw's got to tell you something alright, now you listen to your old Mammaw, you can't have nothing to do with that girl you hear me"? I said "how come"? She said real quiet like "She's your sister"! I don't know why but I laughed and said "huh uh". I don't know why I thought my sainted mammaw would lie about that especially when I had just recently learned of at least 4 siblings in the last few weeks I had never known about! Mammaw reached under her bed and pulled out a little cookie tin and pulled out a picture of a baby that looked just like me except this baby had long hair and was wearing a dress! I was so mad I said "WHO PUT A DRESS ON ME!" She said "well that aint you, that's your sister, that's NADINE! At that moment in my heart I KNEW I JUST KNEW it was the truth. Oh God I had kissed my sister! I was in shock and felt sick and happy all at the same time. I told Nadine what happened and while she has never really believed it she has accepted that I believe it.

Now I had begun singing gospel music with my aunts a little after that happened and while we had no real success the local Tateville folks thought it was a big deal because we had sung in a few other churches and had some equipment. No real achievement but still. Of course it didn't last long my Aunt's conversion was not to last. They all left the church and God for one reason or another. After Nadine got saved she and I started singing when we would spend time together which was about all the time. In just a few weeks we were doing really great and for the first time I could feel the anointing of the Lord because it was like a new voice. We were having new inflections in our voices and the crowds seemed to really be getting blessed. Now there was a lady in our county named Sister Mary that had a broadcast that showed in Cincinnati, and at one of our singings a preacher saw us, liked us and told her about us. She invited us to come on her show and we ended up making several appearances. We were getting bookings in other towns and even 1 in Tennessee. We needed a van and some new equipment, so I went and borrowed 1500. We bought a van at the auto auction and bought some equipment and still we had several hundred dollars left that we were going to use to fix the van up. I let Nadine and Duane keep the money because we knew my mother would keep it. The next day after I left them the money when I arrived Nadine wouldn't open the door but a crack and she said "Duane said for me to quit singing and keep the van and the money for all the work we did". You need to go." Well of course we got into it and the law, my mother and Duane's mother all showed up and we were all fighting I thought I was going to jail. It ended with me finally getting the van which I ended up selling. The next Sunday I was supposed to go to Jamestown Tennessee for a singing and just like my first day of college I just laid there in bed to ashamed to go and tell them what happened. I knew I was making a life decision and I knew that if I went the Lord would bless it and in my spirit I felt that somehow it would be o.k. and God would bless but still I just didn't want to do it anymore. I gave up my dream of becoming a singer and wouldn't sing in church again for several years.

We had some crazy times too though. Now this was in my Hardees days. I have to tell you of one escapade. Nadine was married very young I think I was 17 and she was 16. She married a man as you know named Duane. When they first got married they bought an older mobile home and moved it all the time from one spot to another. Once when they moved it they needed help because they had built a room on the back and put a wood stove out there to heat it. They wanted to move the wood stove so I went to help them along with a young girl named Chrissy. Duane and I started to pick up the wood stove and as I bent over a bee stung me right in my butt! I screamed, Chrissy screamed, Nadine LAUGHED and Duane just stood there. I screamed pull it out Duane pull it out but it being in my butt he wouldn't do it dern him. So he takes a broom and starts beating it but really he's just beating me I take off running and ran right into the girls which caused more screaming. Finally I just pulled it out my ownself. I am somewhat of a wimp so it took forever to load the wood stove but finally we did it. I guess the girls felt sorry for me so they let me sit on the padded seat in the truck and they sat in the back (my butt it was on fire!) Duane was driving slow and I was keeping an eye on the girls to make sure they were o.k. They were laughing and cutting up when all of a sudden Nadine laughed herself right off the back of the truck! Luckily since Duane was only going like 10 miles an hour she wasn't seriously hurt. I told Duane I said "Nadine fell off the truck!" he said " No she didn't" and kept on driving! I looked back and Nadine was running trying to catch up when she stopped reached her hand forward and wet herself! I swear it was like something you see in the movies. I started hollering "Duane look she did too fall off the truck and you're leaving her, she's going to kill you"! Duane looked up finally and hit the brakes which sent Crissy slamming into the stove! I was laughing so hard I was crying and now so was Crissy. Rubbing her old head she cussed Duane black and blue. Nadine had to sit on the back of that truck for about 30 minutes on a windy day in wet pants as we took the stove to their new spot. Let's just say when she finally did get home her thighs were as raw as could be. She could barely walk! She then proceeded to beat the tar out of Duane. I just had to share this. Pretty crazy huh! Now

Get ready tomorrows post starts it all Can you feel the excitement in the air? Huh can you?

Turning 21

Well I finally turned 21 and I had what I considered a good career selling furniture and working in Real Estate part time. I owed everybody and his brother because all I knew about credit was I could get it. I had excellent credit at the time and I considered myself to be doing very well. I had had (that was intentional) some speeding tickets and a wreck or two and so I payed a lot on my car insurance and my car payment was a little much I thought, but still I was living at home and I wasn't giving mother as much money since I quit going anywhere with her. She was still as hateful as ever but it's funny when you are cussed out everyday you really can get used to that to where it doesn't even affect you. I guess no matter how you live you don't really think of it as strange where as someone else might not be able to even undersdtand how you can enjoy your lifestyle or even just tolerate it. I was saving a little bit of money too, but of course thanks to the cousin Larry new car fiasco no one knew about it. Chris and I were still friends and he was still working at Pizza Hut along with my new pal Rob who was crazy and wild compared to us but then compared to us so was Mister Rogers. So things were going good. For my birthday there were no big ordeals like the infamous stripper story, but the good folks at Heilig Meyers did get me a cake. A cake with a big cherry on it because they all thought it was funny that I was still a virgin at 21. I didn't even care because that was the first and one of only two birthday cakes I have ever had in my life (By the way my birthday is next month on the 5th if anybody wants to send me one)(just kidding about sending me one of course) (how the crap do I give you little sidenotes without using all of these parenthesis?)

My 21st year would be a monumental year in my life really that is the year my life began. It was the year that everything changed or at least started to change. I had seen several of my dreams already come true. I had owned a restaurant, been a business man with my real estate license and I had even sung on television. Oh I didn't tell ya that part did I? I got sidetracked wanting to post the stripper story so bad I have skipped over it. I wanted so badly to be able to tell something funny for a change. O.K. so here's the deal, tomorrow I will post about finding my sister, yes a sister well a half sister anyway. I will also fill you in on how we began a gospel group that led to us singing on television,and how we had the big blow up between us that nearly cost me thousands of dollars and ruined my credit and how God miraculously fixed it, and then I promise after that will be the greatest post yet, where I meet my wife uh ex wife which as usual begins with another tragedy! Stay tuned it's just getting good.

Just to let you know

I just wanted to let you know that we are about to come to the part of the story where the actual story really begins. Everything up to this point was to help you understand who I am and why I have done some of the things I have done in regards to my wife I mean ex wife I am always doing that and our daughter. The rest of the story is much much more emotional than this first part has been. I am so proud and pleased people are reading my story. Keep reading and you'll be introduced to some pretty interesting new characters, learn about caring for people with mental retardation, the effects of my mothers Cancer, My divorce and of course the all encompassing fight for my child!


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Guess What

Guess what!! I have been thinking a lot about Chris and our friendship and decided to try and locate him. I went on a lot of Social Networking sites which I had no clue how to maneuver and after I got the hang of it had no luck. I paid friendfinder for information which turned out to be all old and out of date. Finally I called the last place I knew for sure he had been which was Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, North Carolina and after talking to several people one nice young man somehow came up with an email address for a soldier in Colorado. I didn't have any leads that showed Colorado but I thought well what the hey so I sent an email. I ddin't hear back for a little while so I thought I had disturbed a stranger, but this morning I found a returned email from my old Buddy!! As you read this blog you will find out I am kind of sissified anyway so I'll just tell ya I almost (yeah right) cried. I had found a part of my past that had been so important to me. I look back on our friendship with some of my most fond memories of just being young. I was Chris's best man at his wedding and I can't believe I allowed my wife oops ex wife to run him out of my life too. I am entering a time in my life right now where it's almost as though I have been in a coma for years and I am just now awakening. I truly have been dead since even before my divorce. I know that you divorced readers can relate to that dead feeling. I sincerely hope you have already had your awakening.

Another New Job

Man my life was changing fast! I was working three jobs all in an effort to better myself and that was getting old fast or I was getting old quick one. I was almost 21 years old and I wanted desperately to be somebody. I had a new car, lots of bills because I had no clue the dangers of credit which now had me consumed. I was working what seemed around the clock and pretty much was. I began to look for a more professional job where I could focus on it and be able to give up the paper route at least. In my mind I had my fun at Pizza Hut, but it was now time to get a grown up job and become mature. As I write this I am reminded that 16 years later I am still not mature! I don't really remember how it came about maybe because I owed them money at one time for a keyboard I never touched but I applied at a local furniture store for a sales position. There was a large furniture store company at one time called Heilig Meyers anybody remember them? I talked with the manager and he told me I should sell at least 40,000 a month and at 4 percent commission and bonuses for selling fabric protection I should be able to make 2,000 a month! Sign me up I am rich I thought now I am somebody. My mother had never made more than 450 dollars a month in my life! Shoot working three jobs I was only making about 1400 a month now. I went straight to the best department store in town Belk Simpson and spent 1000 on new suits to wear (on more credit of course) I was going to be sharp! I had made it or so I thought. I kept my real estate license but I worked less and less. I had not done very well but I thought if I just kept at it I would eventually get the hang of it. Still I knew in life I was on my way!

I swear it's not a cult

I would greatly appreciate if you are enjoying and following the story if you clicked on the follower link and signed up. The more followers I have themore impressive it would look to a publisher. I have recently joined a literary group that could possibly lead to some publishers finding out about my blog. I swear it's not a cult (HAHA) but please be my follower!

New Story

I am starting a new story on my fun short stories blog about the Tucker Walker family. It's a story that begins in 1860 set in Rural Kentucky with the main characters being Ben and Sarah Walker who are both born as slaves. This will be a about their lives, their harships and their successes. I am trying to be as close to the language of the time as possible for authenticity. I hope you enjoy it. The posts will not be daily but will be very frequent.

Question

As I sit here all alone tonight in my little trailor in rural Soutern Kentucky with midnight fast approaching, with the snow flying on a sub zero arctic night that makes the frozen snow now glisten like diamonds. I ponder the question what is happiness? I have searched for it all my life as it has most often alluded me. Is it money? No I really don't think so. Is it possessions? No probably not. Is it having love in your life? Are you kidding? With love comes many disappointments am I not right? Family could it be family? Most families fight and afgue even when they love each other greatly. Is it peace that only God can bring in the knowledge you are safe in his hands. Let's be honest here as well we are often marred in the potters hands before he makes us again a new vessel. Although I have seldom experienced it or have a clue as to where it really lies I know it exists. Now you must ask for yourself what is happiness? While I haven't found it in any of these areas for more than a few precious moments of time. I will still pursue it with an unyielding faith that one day I will forever more possess it.

work work work

I had at that time always wanted to be wealthy it had become the most important thing in my life. Sadly but truly it had overshadowed my walk with the Lord and took precedence in my life. I guess it was so important to me to prove to myself I was more than my family had told me I was. I mean when I first started working at Hardee's my mother told me I couldn't work at a big place like Hardee's that I wasn't smart enough to keep up because they were so busy. She truly was so defeated in life. How sad it is that even something as simple as that she thought was unattainable not only for me but for herself as well. I was so determined though to prove them wrong and had done everything I could to do just that.
So while I worked at Pizza Hut I went to work on Sunday nights afterwards delivering a local weekly paper that took about 4 hours and I made 50 bucks which almost paid my car payment! I also noticed a pattern of always working nights at Pizza Hut so I thought well I could work in Real Estate of a day if I had my license but I had to find a new sponsoring broker. Peggy had bought a Remax franchise and that was a different kind of deal where there were no commission splits in exchange for keeping all the commision you had to pay for your office and everything. There were so many expenses now associated with it.I had noidea if I could sell and make money or not so I found another sponsoring broker in Marvin Wheeldon, who was the father of a friend of mine in High School. This time I passed my test! So I began working somewhat daily in Real Estate and then at 5 be at Pizza Hut nad work till 12 or 1. All the while delivering papers once a week in an attempt to get rich. I made a little in Real Estate but not much due to me being so intimidated by people with money, so all the listings I went after were the ones no one else really wanted. For some reason though I didn't have any money looking back I really don't know why except I knew I blew a lot of money, but still not that much. I had wrecked a couple of times once even while delivering pizzas (before I got my new car) and so my car insurance was pretty high nad I also was giving quite a bit to the church. I had been able to start going back to the Tateville church, I had stayed away for a while after the restaurant deal because my uncle lived right next door and I was afraid he would be so mad at me for living, I meant to say leaving but living was true too. I had had no life those six weeks I had stayed with the restaurant. My uncle though was real glad of the way it had worked out so much so he bought the restaurant building and all. The church was doing well, but I was growing more and more skeptic of the denomination that was affiliated with it, would I be able to hold onto my faith? What new big change was right around the corner? Shew my life was always changing!

Crazy Times

As I said yesterday I was having a blast at Pizza Hut. I had traded cars a couple of times each time getting a little bit nicer and newer car, but none of them was as dependable as my little wagon had been. So I get the big idea that instead of spending all this money on repair bills I would get a small new car. This was something that for me to beleive I could achieve was just unreal but I started looking. As I pulled out of the Ford dealership in my town feeling as though I was defeated my mother pulled up and gave me one of her looks that basically said you idiot. She gave a cold icy stare one that I can still see in my minds eye this morning as I write this and quietly said "get up the road where you belong". Well that did it! That just went right through me! If she thought for one second that I was the poor miserable white trash she had intended for me to be I was determined to prove her wrong! So far I had most liked the Nissan Sentra I had looked at and so I drove straight to the dealership and filled out an application. I had perfect credit at the time, but I had no clue that meant anything. I was so nervous waiting to hear that my ankles started to pop from being so tense (I guess) and they have popped ever since, but in 30 minutes time I had my car. The sales lady really rooked me, but I was too stupid and too excited to care. I had to go rub my mother's nose in my new car smell.
I have just realized I have left out several key things but a promise is a promise I have to tell you about my little escapade. I was still working at Pizza Hut and so was my friend Chris. They had hired this guy named Clifford who was real countrified (is that a word?). So much so he thought Chris and I was cool when in fact we were quite nerdy and white bred as much as you can imagine. Anyway Clifford had a birthday coming up and even though we didn't really know him that well all he said he wanted was for us to take him out on his birthday. I figured he knew we were always going on these neat trips and things and had never got to do stuff like that and I could relate so of course we agreed. Somehow the Asst. mgr Scott invited himself along and said he would take care of everything. Chris and I both didn't like that idea, but he was the boss and if we made him mad we knew we would pay for it and besides how else were we all supposed to get off work on a busy Friday night. Of course with me a brand new car we had to take mine and that was fine I was having fun feeling like a big shot, but I was getting more and more nervous because Scott wouldn't tell me where we were going other than to Lexington. So we arrive in Lexington and I start taking directions until I end up at a strip club and I thought I was going to throw up. Now he knew Chris and I were both Christian and Pentecostal Christians at that so how was we going to go to a strip club and look at naked women. I protested a little but Scott laid a guilt trip on me saying it was for Clifford so I agreed reluctantly. Chris agreed to but he was underage and couldn't get in so I let him take my car and drive around Lexington which he was pretty familiar with. After about 15 minutes or so my conscience started getting the better of me I thought this is it I am going to have a heart attack and go to Hell right here. I told the guys I would be outside when they were done and left. I was so nervous and flustered I nearly ran every one over I was so ashamed. After sitting outside for just a couple of minutes Chris pulled back in so having a few hours to kill we went Downtown to see the sights. While walking around Downtown Chris decided to start seeing if we could get a closer look and just happened to find an open door to one of the skyscrapers there. We were going from floor to floor looking at the different views out the windows when we were stopped by a security guard who acted a lot like Barney Fife only at the time it wasn't very funny. He had me believing we were going to jail I tried to act all country and innocent which I was, but finally after 2 or 3 hours he let us go. Well by that time the strip club had closed and Scott and Clifford had sat in the parking lot for about an hour thinking me and Chris had drove back home and abandoned them. So they call Margaret our store manager in the middle of the night to come and get them. I blew up I couldn't believe they thought I would just abandon them, but I guess they did think I was mad at them for taking me to a place like that when they knew I always tried to be honorable, but I wasn't mad I had just thought I was going to jail. Man what a night. Now I had a car phone but Margaret ddin't so there was no way to call her and tell her that she wasn't needed so we had to sit there and wait on her. It was nearly 5 when Margaret, her husband and their small son pulled in the parking lot, it had taken so long because on the way up they had hit a cow with their cow I SWEAR that's the truth! Here they were in their pajamas with a big dent in their car just a couple of hours before Margaret is supposed to be there to open the store to come pick these two up when we were there to take them home all the time. Margaret cussed us all black and blue and I swear as soon as she stopped Clifford said "let's go get some coffee" Oh my God that was so not the thing to do. Would we ever make it home now ?

What a blessing!

I knew that God was about to take care of me and he certainly did. My time at Pizza Hut was one of the happiest of my life. I was young and having fun! I really used the advantage of my car window being busted out to witness to people about the Lord cause I played my gospel music to where everyone could hear it. I loved to get beside someone who was blaring some awful worldly (as I would've called it back then) song that had filthy lyrics and drown them out with some good old Gospel!! I was able after a week or so to tape the window up with plastic. I started doing fairly well. I made great tipsas I was very professional and as courteous as possible always acting as though I had been in a big hurry to get the customer there order extra fast. Which was true just not as dificult as I probably made it seem. I am somewhat of a salesmen. I was well liked at Pizza Hut and I liked all the people there. They really were a great bunch. A lot of the customers were regulars and eventually they started asking for me. I was really loving it. Eventually they hired a guy by the name of Chris Phillips who became my best friend and truthfully my last friend. I haven't seen Chris in over 10 years now. The last I knew he was in Fayetteville North Carolina at the military base there. He had joined the military afew years after working there at Pizza Hut. He haad two children Megan and Matthew and as I sit here writing this I am surprised I remember there names. I loved there daddy like a brother though and we had some big adventures together
We would get off work at 1 in the morning and leave Somerset and drive to Nashville or Cincinnatti and walk around the city at like 4 or 5 in the morning. We were crazy, both of us loved big cities. Once in Nashville when they were building the big skyscraper for one of the telephone companies Chris and I actually went in I about peed my pants I was so scared we were going to get arrrested. We almost got killed in Nashville another time. This man had asked us for a dollar to get something to eat and naive me was about to tell him I didn't have anything under a 20, when the police came and arrested him. he had murdered two guys hours earlier in the same place in the same way. The cops said he was just waiting to see if we had any money, had I told him I had the 20 he would've probably killed us right there! Tomorrow will be a very interesting post I will tell of the poor Pizza Hut guy that thought two nerds like Chris and me were cool and wanted us to take him out for his birthday which included almost getting arrested, my one and only trip to a strip club, my boss coming after us and someone hits a cow! Stay tuned

Pizza Hut and another new life

Pizza Hut was like another new life was starting for me. I experienced so many changes in my life while I worked there. For the first time in my life I was really really happy for an extended period of time. Delivering pizzas is a great job for a young guy you get to drive around and listen to music and you can make great tips. All my life I had been around restaurants and the work was dreadful. Pizza Hut was completely different. Margaret the lady that ran the place was a wonderful person. She actually is still there 16 years later! She is a little short lady who was overweight at the time and she had her favorite assistant named Scott who was another fat guy. I say another cause I have always been overweight, but back then I was just about 30 to 40 pounds overweight so that was about the best weight I have been my entire life so I felt right at home being around jolly big people. Anywho I had been concentrating so hard on just getting the job that I hadn't thought what I would do for gas money if I got it. I will never as long as I live forget how I felt. I hadn't had a paycheck in about two months, my car had the back window busted out and I was about as low as I ever have been I remember thinking how could people possibly have money to burn lights in their homes and pay an electric bill and afford to feed themselves. Luckily Pizza Hut was almost always needing drivers even though it was an easy job that paid good for our area. So I got to start quickly. I prayed so hard my first day I had less than a quarter tank of gas and no money for more I was completely broke and nobody was about to loan me a penny! I made fifty cents for every pizza I delivered whether or not I got a tip. I can vividly remember being so embarrassed as I pulled up and bought 50 cents of gas and the looks I got. I had to do this several times, if I was lucky enough to get a tip then I put that in to. By the end of the day I had almost a half tank!! I was on top of the world I knew things were about to get better. A whole lot better, I just had that feeling you get when you know you are due a blessing and you feel you just found it! Well I had just found mine!

New Features

I have added some new features so be sure to scroll all the way down so as not to miss anything. Again would love to know what you think about any aspect of the site.

Your opinion

I would very much like any feedback anyone would be willing to share, such as what you like and don't like about the blog, any favorite parts and especially if you think this might make a good book. I would love for this to be a book. Self publishing though is quite expensive especially for someone making $7.50 hour! Still I would definetely consider starting to save up if I get good feedback. Currently the site is receiving about 40 hits a day I think for a new site that is pretty good.

The crash

So what could I do now! The crash was heard inside the restaurant and here come my aunts half laughing half worried. I couldn't really deal with this right then so I just swept up the mess and delivered the food. When I got to the Antiques store that had ordered I heard the usual question "Aren't you Lillies boy?" I of course had to answer yes and then get asked the obvious question about the car. I quickly told them it just happened and in the five minutes it took me to get back to the restaurant I had a call from my mother asking me what the 1@##$$& happened. I told her I was busy and hung up. I just wanted to burst into tears I had no idea how I would have anything decent to drive now. My uncle had said neither one of us would get any money from the restuarant until the whole 8,000 was paid off which was not part of the original deal we had actually never discussed that part (stupid 19 year old). I drove around with that big hole in my car for weeks before I at least got it taped it up.
I was beginning to hate the restaurant. I was exhausted and broke! Here the restaurant was bringing in hundreds of dollars every day but we had no idea how much the total expenses were going to be and I didn't have 1 dollar to my name. I was miserable. I was beginning to understand the phrase be careful what you pray for cause you just may get it. There is a lot of truth to that.
Fianlly after 6 weeks I just couldn't take it anymore so I did sometihng I am very good at can you guess what it is? I bet you can, I quit. I just left I wrote a note saying I was sorry, but I just couldn't go on like that when I went home I slept for three days only getting up to eat and go to the bathroom. I knew I had to get a job and quick! I had a nice suit I had bought for Real Estate which seemed like just a distant dream now and I went in search for anything I could find! I was to be 20 in just a few days and so far I had done nothing with my life. I went to the unemployment office and found a listing for pizza delivery at Pizza Hut I went to the back door praying for the job and I found what seemed like home!

Tips on reading the blog

To get the most enjoyment from the blog you should go to the oldest post and come forward adn that way it will sound more as in book form to you. I would get appreciate any feedback or critiscms you might offer, as well as you signing up to be a follower. Thank you so much for reading my blog!!

The Restaurant

My mother as you know spent almost 25 years of her life in a little ice cream shoppe earning less than minimum wage and being laid off every winter. The lady who ran it I thought was rich with her big fine homes and Cadillacs. I always thought that if I had my own restaurant that could be my life too. So when my Uncle approached me with the oppurtunity to go into the Restaurant business I jumped at it! I quit my job at Hardee's and just jumped head first! The restaurant right down from where my mother had slaved all her life was for lease! My uncle put up the 8,000 for the equipment and the business and then we would pay a 800 a month lease. Now he really didn't put up any money because we were to go to the bank together and get a note for the 8000 and the business was to pay it back. My part of the deal was all the work was to fall on me so really and truly I was going to give him half the business for giving me the oppurtunity. Even though I partially realized this I was still in agreement because without him signing at the bank I didn't think I could do it.
When we took over the restaurant he took over me! He worked me like a dog! I worked from 5 in the morning till 10 at night and then went back to his house and for two hours went over how the day and money had went with Aunt Pam who at that time wasn't saved, so enough said there. I was exhausted!! So much so that my aunts who worked there would cover for me while I would go to sleep on the freezer in the back room or out in my car. One morning when my aunts got there to help open I went out to the car to get some sleep as I did I noticed a semi pulling in the parking lot to get some breakfast. I thought nothing of it as we got a lot of truckers. In a few hours I awoke and went in to help out. Now to increase sales I had started delivering so around 11 we get a call for a delivery and my Aunt hit the ceiling because I was going to leave for a few minutes and not be there to wash her dishes and she said she would tell Vola on me, well of course then I hit the ceiling and said this is half my restaurant and Vola was my partner not my boss and if I wanted to take a delivery I would do it. So I got that order ready and I hopped in my little Ford Escort Station Wagon I cranked up the Gospel music! The song I have a father who can by the Isaacs was playing in the tape deck and into the trailor of that semi truck that had been sitting ther all day I plowed as fast as I could!! Glass went everywhere, my car my beautiful little car was ruined!! I had busted the whole back of it out. I wanted to die! I knew the crap was going to hit the fan now!

Real Estate School

So here I was at nineteen going through Real Estate School and working at Hardees. The classes were from the Kentucky Academy of Real Estate and were being held in Peggy Bells office. She had just started this company after being in the business several years and was trying to get agents, so there were several of us in the class. The Boyd's who I would later go to church with after I married. A few ladies I can't remember. A lady named Velda who I had gone to school with her daughter. And then there was Gigi, who was from Brazil and a little kooky to say the least. I guess kooky is the best word to describe dear Gigi. Being so country I had trouble understanding Gigi, but I knew I liked her. She was hilarious! I had never met anyone from another country and I thought she was just terribly neat. She had a Volkswagon Beetle dressed up like a Rolls Royce with the hood ornament and Gold Grill and an airplane on the roof that flew around in a circle. It was so odd you just couldn't forget it! The weirdest thing though is the way she talked about her husband she said he was the devil and people just didn't know what he was into. We all thought she was making this stuff up like people sometime do about the horribleness of their spouse. Then several years later it came out that the FBI was after him for some international espionage and that he had put a contract on his own son to have him killed! Gigi had been telling the truth all along and she really had been in danger. She said she was going to write a book about her experience, but she never did, which leads me to think the FBI wouldn't let her because Gigi was honest after all!
After the class ended we all went to Lexington to take the test and we all failed it! I missed it by two questions! I was so disappointed but I thought the Lord knows what he is doing and truth be told I didn't really know anything abouth the Real Estate business even if I had passed the test. So I started training with Peggy on my days off and in the afternoon. In the meantime I got promoted at Hardee's to Supervisor so all in all things were going good. I was fairly happy and wasn't home much so I didn't have to deal with my mother too much. I opened Hardees so I left at 3 in the morning and after work at 1 or 2 I went to the Real Estate office till 5 to learn what I could and of course be free labor, but I didn't care about that I knew the experience was valuable and I was thankful to Peggy for the chance to better myself. Fianlly after several months I took the test again and wouldn't you know I failed it again like everyone else! This time I only missed 1 stupid question too many!! I was mad mad as heck! Excuse my language, but that's how mad I was (lol). Now I had to wait to take it again. But while I was waiting another funny thing happened. My uncle Vola came to me and wanted to help me make another dream come true, but this dream would change my life forever!

Another stupid counter note

O.K. I know this is getting monatonous, but when I went to write todays posting I always look to see how amny people have been reading and I noticed the counter was gone now so I have found another counter that is free so hopefully this will be the last of these topics.

The counter

I apparently I was wrong about the counter as it now reads 530. I am sorry for the confusion but when I signed up for it I was told that my account would only support a counter to 500 without paying more.

The Lord works in mysterious ways

Well, I was getting by with my huge disappointment of not going to college. I am so crazy about things, because it never occurred to me I could go the next semester. I always think things are final and that if I encounter a setback then God has closed the door. I had been working hard at my job which was at the new Hardees they had built on the southern end of town. I now was driving and had my first car which was a 1986 Ford Escort Station Wagon. How cool was that! Not very for an 18 year old boy, still I loved it because it was only five years old. So I thought it was practically new. Of course I had paid most of the money for my mothers car a 1984 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera.That was without a doubt the nicest car we had ever owned and cost 3,000 which to us was a fortune!
I was doing well enough, they liked me at work since I had Hardee's experience I was a key employee and I was unofficially in charge of the kitchen. I was getting to go to Tateville and go to church which my mother had tried to stop me from time and time again. And I was getting to know my uncle Vola and aunt Pam more and more and became more and more concerned about their soul and began praying very hard for them. I didn't know how, but I knew God was going to take care of me and that he would make it up to me about not going to college and it was about to happen!!
Growing up I think it's important to know I had several dreams. I wanted to be in Real Estate and was to study that in college. I wanted to sing and be on tv. I wanted to own a restaurant and have a brick home. I also wanted a daughter those were my dreams. Now one day at work I was working the drive thru and a lady comes through and she has a name tag on and it says Peggy Bell Professional Real Estate Company. I told the lady that is what I had wanted to do and how I had been supposed to go to college and take classes (which is how I thought you had to do it) but I didn't get enough money to go. She asked if I could make payments on Real Estate School?
I said well I don't know how much would it be? I did have a little over 200 dollars which, of course no one knew about. She said well the school is 400 and you would need half down, the class takes 6 weeks and you would need to have the other 200 paid by the end of the class. I nearly burst I shouted I can do it!!! I got her name and number and I knew God had known more than I did. At college I was going to have to borrow thousands of dollars and wait 4 to 5 years to start working.This lady had offered me a job in just a few weeks time!! Look out future here I come!?!